Al and Andrew's Super Review

A review of Cliches

2008-01-21T04:24:00.000-08:00

I hate cliches. Yeah, I'm sure I use them 9 times out of 10, like anyone who entertains themselves to be a writer, but I hate a lot of them. Especially ones that are cliches that don't happen enough to notice that they're actually there.

Take, for example, one of the classic cliches of television: the tertiary characters who know everything about everything. Sure, its hardly limited to television, but I can't think of one television show I've watched, especially dramas, where there isn't that one character who's off on the sidelines, waiting, biding their time to give the main character sage advice. Lost, first season had Rose, when she was wisely telling Jack that her husband, Bernard, was still alive. Heroes beat that one to death with characters weaving in and out of that plot line; Hiro's dad, for example, or even HRG for some characters. Hell, even kids shows have it. Think back to Power Rangers, Zordon was always able to come onto his little tube and give the Rangers the advice they needed. I know, I know, its necessary, and it advances the plot in a fairly easy way, and it isn't even the laziest writing, but it still just gets under my skin.

Checkov's gun, of all the cliches we've blown on this blog (and I mean "blown" as in "blow job") pisses me off because its the one that I see first. Its the easiest to miss, but it jumps out at me. Oh! There's a mysterious symbol on the wing of that plane you say!?! That couldn't be anything! This one's big in video games, Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass is a good example. Spoiler alert, your fairy friend, just like the other two fairies in that game, is mystical, and magical. Or almost any RPG, Tales of Symphonia is an easy one to take. You're told about Ex Sphere, about Lloyd's mom dying, and then that the nearby human plant is an Ex Sphere plant. You can figure out that the Ex Sphere Lloyd has is his mom in act 1. The only writer in recent memory that threw me with this one is JK Rowling, amazingly, in her use of the Invisibility cloak in Harry Potter.

I also hate that when you do avoid the cliche it becomes a cliche: Irony. Man bites dog. When you read it, you know that it sounds familiar, yet wrong. Then you realize: Its the opposite. There's nothing wrong, in the essence of it, of having this sort of narrative, I love irony, but I hate the fact that when you write, you get trapped in cliches. They're unavoidable. They've been impossible to avoid since man began to lie, as liars were the first storytellers. The first person who told the tale "I feel fine" when they really felt like jabbing a flint rock into their ear it bled and the ear drum punctured was first story teller.

I'm done ranting. But, I'm going to start a blog for ranting about writing and what is written now. Because I can, and I don't have enough blogs that I feel obligated to. Don't worry, though, anything I put there, with Alli's blessing, will be here too.

Al's Book(s) Review(s)- Let see how many we can get through

2008-01-20T12:21:00.001-08:00

Sooo... I read lots and lots of books over Christmas break, unfortunately I haven't reviewed ANY of them yet- so let's see how many I can get done in one post... in the order that I have read them no less.

S. Morgenstern's The Princess Bride - The Abridged (Good Bits) Version By William Goldman

Okay. First on the list. Good book. If you've seen the movie, it's exactly like that- since Goldman did the screenplay for the movie as well- right down to the grandfather and grandson chit-chatting before and between scenes. Some of you may become all elitist on me and tell me that I should have actually read Morgenstern's version- but F. U. Losers, and let me tell you why.

Apparently Morgenstern's original Princess Bride was a work of satire about the society of Florin. Not having studied Florenese society in the 16-1700's, I was less than interested. Especially since the man spends 60 + pages describing a noble woman packing and unpacking her hats. And that's not the least of it- there are plenty of more instances of blatant ass-hattery involving travel, who sits next to whom at who's dinner party and why they must be sat accordingly, etc. etc. So- wanting more action than ass-hattery.. I went for the abridged version.

But don't think that because it's not technically the original that it doesn't still hold the satirical qualities of the original. It's chalk-full of them. Like when Buttercup slams the door in Wesley's face because he came to tell her that he loved her. And the fact that Buttercup is .... not so bright. And there's plenty that's different from the movie as well- the Pit of Despair for one. I just wanted everyone to be aware that the movie is so well written (by Goldman) that many of the lines from the movie are taken directly from the book- plus you get to know the characters SO much better from the book. Ever wonder what Fezzick did BEFORE he went off with Vinzcini? Or how he got to be "unemployed, in GREENLAND" in the first place? Why does Inigo fight Wesley with his left hand when he could have easily dispatched him with his right- what the heck is up with Count Rugen, how did the Prince find Buttercup to begin with etc. etc. all these questions and more are finally answered. Plus- if you want a little softcore book porno- Goldman wrote up his own scene where Buttercup and Wesley are finally reuinited after tumbling to the ravine floor. You have to mail in a request to get it, but hopefully the publishers are still getting letters for it. Because dammit, I could use a little softcore porno to bait my Crisis Fatigue with.

Anansi Boys- By Neil Gaiman

We all know I have a hard on for Gaiman. It's obvious- but this book took me FOREVER to get through, more than a month when I can usually tear through books in a week or two. For some reason, while it was good book- it didn't capture my attention. It took FAR too long to get to the damn point of things, and it wasn't even filled with all the quirky symbolism of American Gods- at least not any that I am smart enough to pick up on. Basically we chase Fat Charlie from the England to the States back to England and a Spider shows up and we chase Fat Charlie who chases his girlfriend who chases a Spider who cowers in a corner and finally we get to an island and then things pick up. Limes come in. And then the climax. Don't get me wrong- the African Safari into the realm of dead gods was awesome, wonderfully descriptive, but I felt so cheated. I read the first 150-200 pages with nothing really of consequence happening. *Spoiler..ish* Someone steals money and blames Fat Charlie. He has a brother. His brother bones his fiancee. There. The whole 150 pages in three sentances. So read my three sentances and skip to the good bits at the end.

Captain's Fury By Jim Butcher.
Oh yes, my love/hate affair with this Furies of Calderon series will never end. NEVER I say. While this book wasn't my favorite- obviously Butcher has been reading my reviews and took them into consideration while writing the fourth of this series.

There is only one short instances of "Hold the ____" . Chechov's gun finally gets shot-( though it's shot off stage and only two people hear it) and we're introduced to a male character (A good guy) who is a coward, and therefore unlike other good guy males. Okay, maybe not a coward, but Ehren certainly doesn't seem to have the balls of steel that every other male seems to have inheirited from the incestuous relationships and inbreeding caused by noble families marrying one another's cousins and sisters. Tavi finally gets a little fury zap-zap power going, Isana does something pretty awesome and By the way, Araris and Isana better bone soon or my blue balls are going to explode.

On the other hand (the bitch slapping hand)- Isana gets kidnapped- AGAIN- I'm sure it was only to keep with the tradition that has been going on for the last three books, but whatever. And Araris once again decides NOT to show us how badass a swordsman he is. I'm getting tired of being told he's so awesome when it's beginning to seem like a cockroach with a hernia could take him out of commision.

Pheonix Unleashed- Mercedes Lackey and James Mallory

You ever get that feeling you just walked in on something you shouldn't have? Yeah- that's how I felt about this book. I got it for chrismas so I decided to plunge forward. Unless you have read the previous three prequel books- you're shit out of luck as far as knowing what time of day it is,what month it is, and to some extent how old the characters actually are. It's mediocre at best. Some parts stand out- introduction of the bad guy in fact. It's a novel idea to have a bad guy not really be evil, but rather be a good guy who's trying to simply maintain a balance between good and evil (Even Darth Vadar reverts to revenge in the end). But the co-authors ruin it by making the bad guy seek immortality. Otherwise it might have worked. Still not bad. The Dragons are nifty and towards the end you finally get the swing of hours and days and months (a little bit at least)- but my major complaint is with the death of the centaur guide girl, Simera.

Don't complain about spoilers, because as you'll see, it doesn't really matter. Simera shows up, you get attached to her, and then not 100 pages later- she's dead. And not a painful emotional dead, just- quite literally, "And then she died." (pg. 215) Normally I'm not for long drawn out death scenes but the nonchalance of the death really made it- well...quite frankly, hysterical. I burst out laughing. My laughter at her death was more disturbing than the actual death.

It's very Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Rings in the fact that in this whole book NOTHING IMPORTANT HAPPENS. One boy gets magical powers. They go looking for someone to help with the magical powers. Meet Simera. Simera dies. Meet some Elves. Second boy gets magical powers. Book ends. That's right- they haven't even SEEN the bad guy yet, not really. Good set-up for a triology I suppose, but I can't stand it when those people (you know, authors) do that kind of shit. If you're going to write a series or a triology, at least give me a mini-baddie to hate on that we can fight and kill. It's like a videogame- a videogame would be no fun if you had to fight one small battle without really knowing your main enemy- and then you have to BUY THE SECOND PART OF THE GAME. Personally, I'd be pissed- and was. And as much as I rag on Butcher and the Fury's books- at least there's a climax in each book. The climax of Pheonix Unleashed was meeting a dragon. A big deal, sure, but not nearly as glorious as say.... killing a dragon.

Keys to the Kingdom: Mister Monday- Garth Nix

I also have a hard on for Garth Nix. Love love love the Sabriel triology, and I DEMAND more of it. So- I thought I'd give his new teen book a shot.

It scared the shit out of me.

I can't seem to really describe why it scared me- but it was really just one or so paragraphs that struck terror into me so bad I had to stay up the extra hour (until 4 am) to get my adreniline to settle.

If you have a bedroom where a tree branch might randomly scrape on your window at night- I suggest you read it in the dead of night.. and see if you aren't scared shitless by the Fetchers. During the day, it's not nearly as terrifying- and maybe it's just preying on one of my childhood phobias but keep in mind what Hemingway said.. "It is awfully easy to be hard boiled about everything in the daytime, but at night it is another thing." (Sun Also Rises).

Back to the story. I can't summarize this one. Too much stuff happens, but if you are a fan of the Astral Plane, strange dead suns lying at the end of space and time, Norse Mythology, plays on words, asthematics, clocks, a good story or any of these things in any shape or form- I recommend it.

There are going to be 6 others in the series, Mister Monday, Grim Tuesday, Drowned Wednesday, Sir Thursday, Lady Friday and some titles for Saturday and Sunday- so read Mister Monday first.

And even though it will have plenty of sequels- TONS of shit happens in this book.. and there is a main/mini bad defeated in the end. Hurrah.

For more info- and FUN GAMES! related to Keys of the Kingdom series, see http://www.scholastic.com/titles/keys/books.htm. For more info on Garth Nix and more books I adore, go here- http://www.garthnix.co.uk/home

Storm Front- Jim Butcher

Back to Butcher. But this isn't one of the Furie's books. It's the first book of the Dresden Files. Also a Christmas gift from the same boyfriend who keeps getting me into my torrid love affair with the Fury's books. And he always gets depressed when I review them- even though I obviously like them enough to keep reading them.

So, Book one of the Dresden Files.

Harry Dresden is fresh, compared to Butcher's other male characters in his other series. A coward almost and totally centered on money- but he still treats ladies like a gentleman... most of the time.

I enjoyed Storm Front. Muy Excellente.

If anyone watched the Dresden Files on Sci-Fi (a show I actually liked though said boyfriend hated it for not being like the books), this one was made into one of the episodes.

People's HEARTS EXPLODE. That should make it awesome enough. The idea of modern magic is deftly and artistically handled- with such points as how technology buggers up when magic is present (meaning poor Harry has no cable, no hot showers and I'm surprised his refridgerator even works!), and the description of the lost art of potion mixing (you know, perfume, nutmeg, cinnamon, some pieces of a rubber tire and of course a beam of sunlight), and the mystical Third Eye. Sounds cheesy, the Third Eye, I know- but the description of the view from there is quite... well, not terrifying, but certainly on the creepy side. This book didn't scare me shitless- but the creep factor was definately up there. Plus, even though it's a series- there's a bad guy who gets defeated and I love that.

So, Brian- I ENJOYED IT. I really did. And I want to read the second one. You Asshat.

Annnd Ladies and Gentlemen we're finally caught up with Allison's reading list. Am currently 1/2 way into Sun Also Rises, and though I may review it- I refuse to review it in the way of a graduate student looking to write a book about Hemingway. I want to read some classics, but I'm gonna give you my OPINION on those works- not what critics have found and not what my professors will tell me about Hemingway. So. Never fear- I'll rip into the greats as easily as the fluffs.

Once again, I need more books to add onto my list so if anyone has recommendations- send them to RoseWilsonWorth@aol.com -please title it "Hey Asshat, read this."

Thank you and goodnight.

A Public Service Announcement

2008-01-20T11:52:00.000-08:00

Are you feeling tired? Depressed? Not like yourself? Do have a constant sense of impending doom? Are you impotent? Constantly tossing and turning at night?

You might have Crisis fatigue. Yes, studies say 9 in every 10 comic fans is feeling this phenomenon. Its characterized by feeling like the end is night, only to be let down when only Superboy dies, or She-Hulk joins the Fantastic Four. Hey, it could be worse. It could be that nothing happened until after the event was over. Or it was reverse a year later, like that little unmasking of Spider-man.

Many sufferers also claim carpal tunnel from the massive continuity porn, which may have led to your impotence. That or its the massive amount of medication you're hopped up on.

Still, there is hope! Its called: Vertigo. Yes, Vertigo, miracle drug that it is, has been known to help those with CF, due to the fact none of the books are connected. Some side-effects may be: Arrogance, Bad mouth, Desensitization, Increased gambling urges, Cigarette addiction, paranoia that your neighbors are mythical beings who are going to send you to a farm in upstate New York, your mom banging Jack of Fables, or explosive diarrhea.

Vertigo is not for everyone. Some may want alternatives such as Indie, which has similar side effects, or Real Books, which are known to cause a more severe form of arrogance, known as actual intelligence.

Side effects are common, but you do not know how they will effect you.

More research is needed to go in to this delicate study. For those who do seek to donate to our research, please send an electronic mail note to our chair person, Andrew Hurd, at "HopesofTrying@gmail.com"

Please, don't hesitate to help the millions of comic fans with Crisis Fatigue. For your donation, you may, or may not, receive a sample of our medication Vertigo.

Review: The Sinestro Corps War

2007-12-16T13:46:00.000-08:00

I decided I wanted to review the war in retrospect of the entire thing, with its conclusion having come out last Wednesday. I've never hid my Lantern fandom, so expect me to suck Geoff Johns, Dave Gibbons, Pat Gleason, Ivan Reis and Ethan van Sciver's collective cocks as I look at it, while I am going to try to be negative when I see it as fit; for example, the Qward issues of GL. I apologize for my scanner.

Although the storyline officially started in the Sinestro Corps one shot, Green Lantern Corps readers would be wise to remember that it technically started with Despolites, the virus Sinestro, attempting to effect Mogo a few issues earlier, in an arc which introduced Bzzd, and dealt more with Mogo's actual abilities to make constructs. The overall things that arc did that had any bearing on the War were, A) wound Mogo, he got in the path of a meteor to get Despolites off of him! B) destroy Stel, the Robot Lantern, which led into the beginning of the Second Battle of Mogo, and C) Bring up the children of the White Lobe, necessary characters in the Battle and prophecy.

But, let's get into it. We start with the One Shot, with van Sciver's beautiful art, accept for one panel of Black Canary, Red Arrow and Red Tornado. I thought one of the best ideas in this issue was the focus on Kyle, whom many fans have feared would become a nominal background character upon Hal's return. I think he's kept in prominence, myself, although Hal's primary. Looking back, there are a couple of lines that show great importance, and make Cyborg Superman's survival an obvious choice.

SEE! His death lust is gonna come up.

Then the battle of Oa begins, with a Sinestro Ring snatching Kyle, as well as blasting through Tomar Re's ear, and one unfortunate, and oddly uniformed, hand. The splash pages never reach the level of being gratuitous, as common as they are, because the things that are splashed have impact because of it. Although, one of my favorite panels is this one:
It shows the cost without actually having to show it, like so many of Geoff Johns' books that border on gratuitous. Of course, then Kylellax, and the big reveal of the Anti-Monitor. First issue's a win.

Then we start Lantern 21, which is the "calm before the storm" issue. Probably the most forgettable, because of its extreme focus on Hal, and his past. I would have enjoyed seeing more from John and Guy's Parallax induced visions than a bit mention a couple issues later. Its a weak issue, with the most meaningful thing feeling like its the comments of Sayd and Ganthet, which show levity later on.

We can move forward, though, since that issue is forgettable, onto Corps 14. I like Soranik Natu, this is known, and her strengths, as well as Sinestro's are greatly noted by Dave Gibbons. Its a good battle, and a the art by Pat Gleason is solid. This issue's importance really is nominal, though, with Sodam Yat being the most important thing in the issue, as well as this being Sinestro's only real appearance in Corps. It does set a major tone though: Sinestro knows how to win by losing.

Back to the main books, which is, in fact, better with the larger picture. Pages that felt wasted (Superman-Prime on the moon), no longer do. This issue, the first in the battle of Qward isn't the most notable, though. Yes, Reis' art is amazing, but other than Boodika's los of her hand, and Jack Chance's death, not much happens. Also, the fighting isn't as interesting as Johns is capable of. We can slide this one back in its sleeve, though.

Parallax one-shot. Ron Marz has a hard-on for Kyle. He really does. Only other thing of note: this art is magnificent!

Corps 15 is where that books picks up. Arkillo of the Sinestros is officially Gibbons' to use for the rest of the story, and we get the first battle that feels massive, and feels like there's a real risk. On a character note, though, we get an interesting look at Salaak, with his mentioning the White Lobe being on Mogo, and the apparent tremble in his voice. It shows how much he knows. One thing I did love was that this issue showed Arisia as a strong character, something Gibbons does to great effect in this battle. Also, box Lantern.

Issue 23 of Green Lantern. Ugly Guy face.
The character moments in this issue are much better than in previous, with great dialog between the Earth Lanterns, and even the alien ones. Also: Yay consistency! I like the fact that we manage to keep Graff Toren's ring slinging the same spider-web. This is really the issue that Sinestro wins, though, with the new law put on the books. Good as the rest of the plot line is, remembering that kind of makes me go "oh... yeah... it was technically lost then". Hurts the overall arc on rereads although it hols up.

Corps 16, with the conclusion of the Battle of Mogo. Chthos dies. He will be missed in his ugliness and vague sexist attitude. Go Arisia! You tell them boys! The arts impressive in that it manages to stay even, despite the noticeable two artists. I cannot claim to find Unzueta's art nearly as good as Gleason's. This does, though, conclude the risk to the Corps, thanks to it ending the Alan Moore prophecy of the fall of the Corps.

Cyborg Superman. While most of this issue is a retread of his origin and motives, we get an interesting panel, in that its a stark anachronism in DCU, with George Bush, the 9/11 attacks, and Middle Eastern War.

Other than the rampant "LOL Marbel" through out (Henshaw's origin, the Skrulls in panel), not much happens. Still, weird ass panel that makes this one interesting.

And now the last actual Green Lantern book for FIVE ISSUES. The beginning of the battle of Earth has this pretty spread.

Just look at how angry Sinestro is. I enjoyed this one, for the way it bring the war home. It makes it seem like there's a cost to us and not just this comic universe. It was one of the best ideas they had to bring it to Earth, and the issue's great. This is the first issue of Lantern that it feels like shit happens. Good stuff. And John Stewart is black, in case you missed it.

Blue Beetle, the only tie-in outside of the Green Lantern books and one-shots. I would care more if I'd been read the series, but I have not been, and thus, I lack the vested interest in Peacemaker, Jaime, and this overall story. Unfortunate, I feel like I could have if I had been reading it. This issue does have Hitler, though. Still less of an anachronism then the Cyborg page.

Green Lantern 17: I miss Gleason... The dialog is great, though, especially Guy and Natu. She hates Guy, its awesome.

Still, on the record we have for the law:
Boodikka
Hannu
Sodam Yat
Salaak (ish)
Vath Sarn
Isamot
Brikk
Laira
Raker
Kraken (not a surprise, since they're from Apokolips)
and Guy probably would if he had to

Against:
Arisia
Soranik Natu
Kilowog

Unknown:
Hal
John
Kyle (okay, we can really presume they'd go against)
Iolande
Graff Toren
Tomar Re
Bzzd
Mogo

And you have now enjoyed Andrew shows how many Lanterns he can name! The fight between Kilowog and Arkillo's good, and I really did love that he let him live. I like when characters show restraint like that.
Best line: "Poozers! No!" I love Kilowog. Also, Ion's new costume's one I like, since it's primarily green. Its distinct.

Superman-Prime. Mmm... Pete Woods art. "LOL stupidest boy dead LOL". I'm gonna go on the record as saying that I LIKE Superman-Prime as a villain. He's compelling to me, since he is an indignation of fans who have a sense of entitlement. He's like the Forum Trolls who say "This sucks because it isn't what I'm used to!". He's a brilliant pastiche of the worst fans, who are common in this small medium. Part of me thinks he's Geoff Johns' way of keeping himself in perspective, as a fan with godly powers over the medium.

And onto Corps 18. The fights good, Yat's deal-with-able. This issue, though, feels out of place. It feels like, thanks to the delay on Green Lantern, they shoehorned this in. Again, it isn't bad, but its utterly forgettable, and the first Corps issue to really disappoint me. I could give or take it.

Then we get the big one, the grand finale, the battle to end all battles, until 2009! GREAT issue. Ivan Reis really comes into his own, at times surpassing van Sciver, the commonly thought better artist of the two. His splash pages are rich, with little nuggets through out them. The two week delay was well worth it just for the beauty of this issue. Reis shows that he is one of the best artists in the market.

Van Sciver, meanwhile, gives it his all too, really showing the individual batteries as something to behold. And then his splash page is amazing in itself, giving the varied corps as sense of identity, between the vomiting Red Lanterns, the healing Indigo, and what looks like it should be a fantastic war. Side note: if I ever say that again, kill me.
Coast City is given character too, as cheesy as the whole thing feels. Its my one complaint about this book. Seriously, why did we need green Coast city. The Guardians join the battle in a big way, taking on the Anti-Monitor, getting scarred, and dying. They're still sniveling cowards, but its almost redeeming to see them fight and sacrifice. Sinestro reveals his win, looking deliriously evil in this panel:

Guy really wins, though. He's getting increasingly ill and he still manages to come up with the idea to defeat the Anti-Monitor. It doesn't actually work, but still. And we get a touching moment with Hank Henshaw, making him infinitely sympathetic. One thing that I really did like, was how unimportant the other heroes felt, because it drove home with is a Green Lantern book and story-arc. Its interesting to note that no one that is not involved in either corps has a single line.

The best fight, though, is Sinestro, Hal and Kyle. Fun stuff, if only for the 2x4 to the head of Sinestro. Bastard deserved it.

Then we get the epilogue of the story, with the formation of the Blue Lanterns of Ganthet and Sayd, and the reveal of the Black Lantern build up. Alli describes that as DC Zombies, I describe it as foreshadowed in issue 6, and the return of Nekron of the Undead, more on that later. I look forward to the Blackest Night, though. I have high expectations for it.

In the epilogues for the other books, though, Ion was forgettable, and I really enjoyed the Corps epilogue. Yay Gleason art! The individual moments were amazing, be it the mourning of Vath Sarn, Kilowog's r & r, Isamot's deiance, Iolande's boredom or Sorank returning to the one thing she loves the most, doctoring.

Then we have a lot of set-up for the Alpha Lanterns, I'm assuming, and the arc v. Mongul.

Great story line, with some great character nuggets hidden in the storyline. Good stuff. Escapism like this is why I'm a comic fan.

Happy Christmas, the war is over

Andrew's Webcomic Review

2007-12-09T09:29:00.001-08:00

Alright, so, as an avid Webcomic reader, I decided I'd review a few of 'em. By that I mean probably around ten, depending on how bored I get or don't get.

Obviously, we must first start with the perennial webcomic: Penny Arcade.

Its a damn fun read, usually hitting the mark with humor and a vibrant art style. The characters are likable, albeit under-characterized. If you like video games, it'll hit the mark, if not, the vast majority of the humor and jokes will miss you completely. Most of the jokes are a dialog between Gabe and Tycho, with Tycho usually playing straight man to Gabe, and it usually works, although they'll occasionally need to bring in another character, like Gabe's girl friend in the comic above, to get the joke through. Recurring plot is minimal, so don't expect to get too attached. Still, there's a reason its been going on this long: its good. Not a must read, but one to check out weekly.

Stiptease

A comic about making comics (sort of), hence the name. Its Soap Opera story telling, with about as deep of plot and characters. The arts nice, but the characters border on unlikeable for the most part, with sexism pretty rampant in this one. Take on recent plot line: there's a misunderstanding over whether Max (the main character) had sex with the resident Lady Dragon, Kim. His girlfriend, Alli, meets an old friend (implied to be without Max's knowledge, seemingly for a triste until we find out otherwise), and learns that Max might have had sex with Kim, whom she hates. We learn that yes, they did, but its because Kim was doing for revenge for Max's ex (now a lesbian and a main character). When they confront each other, she comes off as being the bitch, and he as just being frustrated with her. Its a taut comic, the character's shallow, and the plot lines have pulled the "Evil Twin" concept. I shit you not.

Questionable Content

One of my personal favorites, Questionable Content has interesting, and likable characters. One of the longest running comics, its also one of the few that supports its creator. Its pretty damn brilliant, although it has high and low points where the plot line suffers and succeeds, depending on the level of conflict. The art has changed greatly, as the archives chronicle well. Its good, usually a joke a day, and has shown great evolution in writing. I recommend it to anyone looking for a good slice-of-life read.

Multiplex

Damn is this good... One of the comics that has gotten even better over time, while starting with a high standard. I tend to like the more dramatic story lines (which its quite good at), better than the one and done joke strips (also quite good). Its a good read, with good art, but there are times when characters come off as mildly unlikeable. They aren't bad, but there are things they do that have rubbed me the wrong way. Still, check it out, see if you like it.

Penny & Aggie

This is quite possibly one of the best comics on the internet. Seriously. The plot lines are smart, the characters varied, and the art fantastic. Its gotten increasingly better over time, and while the core plot line of the beginning (Aggie v. Penny) has disappeared, it is a comic that should be held to a higher standard than most. The only real complaint I have for it is that the plot lines occasionally come off as pandering to the Forum audience. Other than that, it does things that seem almost outlandish in the common webcomic, such as cohesive plotting, and symbolism. Check it out, damn good read. Again, one of the best.

Ctrl+Alt+Del

This is one of my least favorite Webcomics, I would call it the Family Guy of webcomics, but that might be a little harsh to it. Its still bad, mind you. The characters are unlikeable, and, while not as overtly so as Striptease, its still not exactly flattering to its female characters. It takes the same formula of Penny Arcade, and shits on it with annoying characters, meaningless and stupid plot, and a robot that is directly a take off of both HK-47 and Bender, and is just as annoying as the humans he supports. Ethan, the main character, is a psychotic, while Lucas, the next main character, is merely boring and uninteresting, and the main female character, Lilah, is nothing more than one of them with a vagina, who apparently doesn't know anyone other than the two of them and her male pro gaming partner, while also enabling Ethan's addiction and insanity. Maybe I expect more, but this has a huge readership, so maybe you'll like it. I don't. At all.

That's enough for now. I promise it won't be a month before I post again! Still, if you need a daily dose of me, I have two other blogs. If you disagree or want to recommend anything, e-mail me at hopesoftrying@aol.com, or leave a comment.

Al's Book Review

2007-12-07T00:21:00.000-08:00

Al Reviews... Neil Gaiman's American Gods

This book was awesome. Go read it. Even if you can't identify most of the Gods in there (must be hundreds), it doesn't end up mattering that much.

A few complaints- There's so much symbolism and deep forboding-ness in this book that you might get bogged down in the first few chapters. If you don't keep in mind that everything in this book is in there for a reason, you're gonna get confused and frustrated real quick. But trust me, EVERY THING MATTERS. In fact, you're introduced to the three most meaningful characters within the first two chapters- one of which you have no idea is important until you get to the end. So stick with it.

Two, I never really got a good visual of Shadow. MAybe I just personally lack the great imagination, or maybe I somehow glossed over the stunning description of him- but I think there's a reason I can't "see" him in my head to well. You're not supposed to. He's Joe-blow. So think of Joe-blow... except taller. Personally, everytime Shadow did something, I was reminded of the picture of Neil Gaiman on the back cover. So Neil Gaiman was riding a crazy carousel and running playing checkers with gods. but that's just me.

About that carousel. You might think- Wow, that sounds crazy... I just can't believe a place like that exists. Well, I did a little research. I figured it was a real place, but I just didn't think it could live up to Gaiman's description. I thought if I went and found some pictures of it I may be able to make it more real in my brain. Boy was I ever wrong. After looking up the House on the Rock, and the World's Largest Carousel pictures, I was even more amazed than I was by reading it. THERE REALLY ARE MERMEN! It was more surreal looking at the pictures than it could be in the book- and the book was pretty dark and well... surreal. Don't believe me? Check out HouseOnTheRock.com and view their picture gallery. There are even pictures of the Whale in the Walk-way and the Christmas room, and the doll room and the orchestra room etc. etc. etc. It's freaking crazy!

Now, if there's one thing I usually bash a book or movie about, it's the "surprise" ending or the "surprise" plot twist. I can usually spot 'em a mile away. I was tickled pink with this book- I didn't get the big SURPRISE until about a chapter before it was actually revealed (line: "It's a two-man con." That's when I knew). So... There you go. An actual surprise. And I was kickign myself for not seeing it sooner. At all! You'd think... when everyone meets up in the "neutral" place.. you'd think I'd have fingered that damn chauffer a mile away. Nope. Not til the end.

SPOILERS

Complaints from other people:
Some have said they really didn't like the part where Shadow took his Dead Journey while holding Wednesday's vigil and skimmed right through it. Personally- that was my favorite part. So dark and creepy and totally out-of-this-world, literally. I thought the real dragging part was in the middle... all the crap about living in a little bitty town- I was tempted to grumble and flip a couple pages to get back to the good parts- BUT I DIDN'T! And neither should you! BECAUSE IT ALL MATTERS!! THERE'S A REASON JOE-BLOW LIVES IN NOWHEREVILLE! BELIEVE IT.

NO MORE SPOILERS

And we're done now. I'll be reviewing William Goldman's The Princess Bridge, Abridged (The Good Parts) and giving a brief comparative study between it and the cult classic movie anyone who was a child in the 80's absolutely obsessed over. Then hopefully Good Omens.

Oh, and if you're interested, Jim Butcher's newest addition to the Furies of Calderon series came out this week- called Cursor's Fury. It's on hold for me at the Library. Check it out.

And as always, PLEASE email me some suggestions for books to read and review. Really, I'll respond to any emails (I get so bored during finals). So heres' the address again in case you forgot Rosewilsonworth@aol.com.

Do it. Now.

Two Speedies for the Price of One!

2007-11-05T20:20:00.000-08:00

Mia Dearden/ Speedy II

Personality: Mia's pretty levelheaded, compared to the rest of the Arrow clan- though she can be a bit cocky- it's part of her charm. She's crass and vulgar- which we always love in a lady, but she does have a tendancy to blow little things out of proportion and while leaving the big things to fester. Example, "I have HIV. It's okay." vs. "I don't want to join the Teen Titans and I'm going to throw a temper tantrum." Temper Tantrums are never attractive, and neither is the festering and rotting. She has a fixation with Connor, but who can blame her honestly? After all, the boy kissed her- twice- and hasn't done anything since. Andrew and I agree that we would both be frustrated with him after that. She's also extremely well adjusted for her history. Her dad raped her, sold her into prositution, she lived with an abusive pimp/boyfriend, did lots of drugs, and finally after getting out of all that- finds out she has H.I.V. and she's really not all that bitter about it. Seems like she should get some major bonus points for that. We her personality a rating of

21 out of 25.

Costume: We love the mesh arrow. Nice cleavage without showing boob. It works. Plus the deep red and dark yellow are a good color combination, we like them. It's a solid and strong color grouping. Then again, we said that for Wally too- so let's not beat the dead horse. We like red and yellow. The short cape always works out well for ladies, but I think we could go either way on the hood. It lends the whole "Robin Hood" feel to Green Arrow's side kick- but... we might be able to do without it. We give her costume a rating of

18 out of 25

Powers: What powers? Does keeping Ollie and Connor from killing each other count as a super power? That being said, her ability to work a shaft is sexy. We could continue with the dirty archery comments until the cows came a-mooing home, but back to the point... Archery = hot. Period. No arguements. Name one un-sexy archer. We dare you. That's right, you wouldn't dare. Even Merlyn the Magician is hot. Let's not get me started on him. She's a decent archer- somewhere in her archery skills between Connor at the low point and Roy at the high point with Ollie above the other two boys. Any debates about Connor's archery skill levels should be directed towards the comments on this page, please. Plus, she can make her own trick arrows. Hot. We give her powers (or lack there of) a rating of

16 out of 25

Day Job/Alter Ego: She's H.I.V. postive. Now, while we all know that safe sex can partially eliminate the threat of "catching" H.I.V., it's not exactly something that makes us all hot and bothered. Don't get us wrong. We still love Mia, and we'd still have crazy awesome sex with her. We'd just wear a condom to do it. She's still in high school... but that's never really much of an issue- and aside from that her day job is to babysit Ollie when Dinah's not around to kick his ass. But she does it with such great attitude, we can't help but admire her. She really does need to get back in the Titans though, otherwise we're hardly ever gonna see her in comics anymore. Judd Winick bashing aside, we give her day job/alter ego a rating of

12 out of 25

Miscellaneous Deductions:
The colors of her costume and her code name really seem to scream more "Flash Sidekick" rather than Green Arrow sidekick. You'd think Green Arrow's sidekick would be more... I dunno... Green? I guess that's what they have Connor for. -2

Final Score: 62 out of 100 We love Mia. Yay Mia. Not a bad score for a sidekick.

Roy Harper/ Speedy / Arsenal / Red Arrow

Personality: It should never be said that Roy doesn't love the ladies. He has great love for the ladies- pretty much ALL the ladies. Maybe too much love. Which resulted in one of the most adorable kids in all of comics, Lian. And everyone knows that good Daddies are hot. It's true. And for as much crap as Lian ends up going through, let it never be said that Roy wouldn't/doesn't go to the ends of the earth for her. She may have been the product of an ill-concieved one night stand (sort of), but he loves that little girl, and that's major points. Back to his past though, He was a heroin addict. Not good. But, on the other hand, he did, eventually, get over it, and hasn't "fallen off the wagon" so to speak. And yeah, we have to mention it because it happened, but Allison for one would really wish people would stop saying "That guy in JLA, wasn't he a junkie?" There's a lot more to the character than just his past drug use. That's like saying "That Wonder Woman, didn't she kill a guy?" It's been twenty odd years. Writers and readers alike need to get over it. When he was younger, he was fairly prone to hero-worship, which put the kid in an awkard situation when his heroes were... well... Ollie and Hal. And luckily, as he's aged, it's muted into a sort of humility when it comes to other heroes that are bigger and better. He may act like he thinks he's more important than Superman, but if Superman says jump, Roy says How High? We give his personality a rating of

17 out of 25

Costume: Which. Freaking. One. The current one could be better. The "red arrow" costume from his miniseries was good. The Arsenal costume with the navajo leaf on it was pretty sexy. The leather jacket was bad, especially with the shaved head. The Blue one from the 80s? What in the world? Why would anyone dress a red-headed irish boy up in blue? That'd almost be as bad as putting him in green! Speaking of Green, we can't ever get away from that first image of little Roy, yellow hat, yellow gloves and boots, with red leggings and a tunic to match his mentor. Sigh, oh the old days. Unfortunately the old days are gone, and for the sake of saving a little time and confusion we're rating his current Red Arrow costume. Allison likes the shoe laces up the chest. Andrew does not. We are glad that the hat has not made a fashionable resurgance though- and thank God he's not wearing blue anymore. Play to your strong suits, Roy. The sentimental value of the new costume is great though- ALMOST to the point of making up for the fact that in 20 years, (If Kingdom Come is to be believed) he's going to look like a red headed Ollie... which was not a flattering look for him. Oh Roy. Whatever shall we do with you? We do miss the soul-patch though. It seemed to make any costume work. Maybe if he brought back the soul patch, we'd be so enamored with it we'd forget how bad the new costume looks.

12 out of 25.

Powers: Once again, Archer = sexy. Whoof. As Stan would say, 'Nuff freakin' said.

16 out of 25

Day Job / Alter Ego: You have to wonder what it says on Roy's Resume.... Current Occupation: Professional Superhero. Previous Occupations: Sidekick. Current Employer: Justice League of America. Previous Employer(s): Oliver Jonas Queen. I would kill for Roy's resume. Besides, how cool is it to be a superhero for a living? No need for a day job, Roy can bring home the bacon without it. Plus, while he's running around superheroing at night- what does he do during the day? Takes care of his baby. What better job could one have, I ask you? We really enjoy Roy's religious persuasions too. Before anyone bashes on Roy as being anti-religious or what not, I recommend you read his miniseries "Arsenal" written by Devin Grayson. She's not a particularly good writer, and I have plenty of crap I could talk about her- but this series was very well done, and digs into his Navajo roots. It's refreshing to see a character who believes in something you don't find every day- especially considering how he's as white as they come. All in all, we're fans of Roy's "day job", and we're giving it a rating of....

22 out of 25

Miscellaneous Deductions:
Too many names for me to type just to get this damn article written. Speedy, Arsenal, Red Arrow- pick one and stick with it for more than three issues, K? -3

speaking of names, Speedy? Speedy? We're blaming Roy for Mia's previous miscellaneous deductions- after all, he started it. But- as the joke goes... "You should have heard his first choice.." and of course there's the infamous "Speedy? I thought they didn't call you that anymore" etc. etc. We exhaust ourselves with these jokes. -5

We know Roy loves the ladies- but how many ladies has the boy TRULY loved? We mean true love. Look at it, he LOVED Donna- she's his childhood sweetheart whom he still feels for to this day. He LOVED Cheshire- still does, she's his baby's mama and he just can't help himself. He LOVES Dinah. It's that whole "You're hot and you came around about the time I was going through puberty and I'm not sure if I should think dirty thoughts about you or pretend your my mom." that he's never going to grow out of. Should he really be DATING at this point instead of just having sex like usual? Also- his choice in women isn't exactly the best. We stand by the thought that out of all the women that Roy has LOVED, Dinah was the only one who could have ever been any good for him- too bad she's in love with his MENTOR. Arguements should be sent to Rosewilsonworth@aol.com :) -4, one for each love.

Final Score: 53 out of 100
Because we love him so much, we had hoped that Roy would score higher, and in fact he'd be tied with Mia if he hadn't gotten all those damn deductions. So... sexy as he may be, gotta watch out for the ridiculously frequent name changes, heart-on-my-sleeve notions of romance and the fact that, simply put- with a name like "Speedy" you've either just lost your virginity, or you need to be a Flash Sidekick.

Al's Book Review

2007-11-03T12:01:00.001-07:00

Review for Jim Butcher's Codex Alera

Okay, so... Jim Butcher's a fairly well known author, having put out such books as the Dresden Files ( which is now a fairly decent TV series). But the book's I'm gonna be reviewing are.. well- fairly recent and known as the Codex of Alera, consisting of (so far) three books, Furies of Calderon, Academn's Fury and Cursor's Fury. And, aside from what I'm about to mention below- they are quite good books, and everyone should read them.

Right- So. The whole series takes place in a world called Alera, a sort of post-roman.. well... Rome practically. There's mention of the Tiber and Gaul rivers- and everyone's name sounds like you could have plucked them right out of the ancient senate, for the most part. The political structure of this world consists of the First Lord (basically the king) named Gais Sextus, and a bunch of High Lords (a senate of sorts) who spend most of their time seemly either plotting against the First Lord or defending him. Though, there is something special about this world- everyone has a type of "magic" in the form of furies. Furies come in six varieties- earth, metal, air, wood, fire, and water- each with their own special attributes and downfalls. A person who has strong metal furycrafting can be a badass swordsman, and ignore pain to great extents- but they're useless if you can wrap them in wood. Etc. Etc.

That's as much of a summary as you're getting for me.

Spoilers Ensue. Fair Warning.

That said- Chekhov's gun makes SEVERAL rather startling appearances. Not startling in the fact that you sit back and go Hey! I remember that thing/person/place from the other book- but startling the way it would be startling if Chekhov jumped on stage during random intervals during the first and second act and began waving said gun around screaming "I'm not saying I'm about to shoot someone but check out this gun!" "Are you looking at the gun?" "Have you noticed the gun yet?" Let's face it, a teenaged boy living out in the boondocks with his aunt and uncle- not totally unbelievable except for the fact that during the entire first and second book we never hear a damn thing about either of his parents. We're not sure if Bernard and Isana are his maternal or paternal aunt and uncle- and the fact that Isana remains unmarried and childless even though she's supposed to be a mature woman in a time when marriage = security. So by the second chapter of the first book- I'd pretty much formulated the opinion that Isana was probably Tavi's unmarried mother, and thus disguised herself as his aunt to avoid any sort of problems that could arise from being an unwed mother. And though this isn't confirmed until the end of the second book and further extrapolated on upon the third- it's as obvious as a slap in the face. It's usually easy for writers to fall into this trap- they don't want to make the idea too vague that no one will pick up on it, but then they make it so obvious I feel like I don't need to read the rest of the book because I know what's going to happen already. Word of advice on Chekhov's gun- after you've written the first PING moment of realization- go back... cut the moment of realization. Leave the PING.

Another literary problem; Deus Ex Machina anyone? I swear these books make it seem like God is sitting around with nothing better to do than watch these battles and send in the calvary at EXACTLY the right moment. Of course, the right moment does vary, ever so slightly- but mostly, the RIGHT MOMENT is the exact moment after the heroes small band of soliders beats down the more numerous, more vicious, more well trained army that surrounds them by taking out their leader and the army runs in disarray- but still killing plenty of the little band of heroes. As soon as the little band of heroes have made peace with the end of their existance- out from the sky with a blazing sword swings Michael to kill the rest of the army. AFter all, the little band got the main mission done by themselves (I.E. killing the leader)- so why shouldn't they be saved? Sure, it makes us all happy when the heroes win and live to fight another battle- but does it have to happen EVERY battle? Each one seems to be a matter of Hold The ____. Hold the Garrison until reinforcements arrive. Hold the Cave until reinforcements arrive. Hold the City until Reinforcements arrive. Hold the freakin' Bridge until reinforcements arrive. I'm not sure if it's better or worse because the characters know that reinforcements will arrive. And of course, reinforcements seem to consist of a bunch of lazy, slow moving but powerful soliders who make a two day trip take two weeks... just to piss off the little band of heroes trying to Hold The ___.

Having beaten that dead horse well enough, let's move onto to Characterization.

Characterization. It happens. For some characters. The rest of them are the same character with different abilities and names. Example, Tavi. Tavi undergoes some GREAT growth throughout the story. Everyone else is pretty much static. Let me extrapolate.

The Women: The women are mostly bland and overpraised for their very tiny accomplishments, and the misogynistic undertones (while still undertones) are pretty damn obvious. I'm told that the female characters in the Dresden Files make up for it, but, having never read the Dresden Files myself- I can't vouch for it.

You may say, Allison, you wonder of literary wisdom, if this is a post-Romanic medieval type setting, doesn't that in itself make up for the low spot these women have on the totem pole? No. It doesn't. I understand as well as anyone that women aren't going to have the same political power as men in stories set in this time/space, fine. But when you introduce a women by basically saying "She's a badass" and then she isn't a badass... well- that says something. Isana is a particularly good example. She's got the respect of everyone in her Steadholt as early as the first book. She's apparently an amazing watercrafter- but half way through the first book, she's captured. Okay. I can live with that- gotta progress the plot line some way. But then she's kidnapped again in the second and basically incapacitated in the third? I don't buy it. And even in the third, while Isana isn't captured - two other High Ladies are, which requires Lady Aquataine, Odiana and Amara to dress up like sex slaves to get them free. Really? Sex Slaves? .... Okay then- I suppose we needed more scantily clad females. That brings me to another topic- Amara. I tried really hard to like this girl. Really- I did. I wanted to like her because I immediately liked Bernard. But, I don't. She's flat. Butcher tries so hard to make her the best of both worlds (the upper class political world and the boondock world of the Steadholders and everyone else) that she has absolutely no true personality. She doesn't have any enemies or dislikes of her own, just picks up on the enemies of the people she's loyal to (Gaius, specifically). The only truly intersting female characters are either the "bad" guys or bat-shit crazy. Lady Aquataine and Odiana spark to mind. Personally, I love love love Odiana. She's creepy-crazy. And Lady Aquataine... while not as fun as Odiana, she's certainly got more character than Amara. So I find myself rooting for the bad guys- who I KNOW (because of Chekhov screaming and waving his gun, and from Michael lighting up his sword) are not going to win.

The Men: The Men are easier. We've pretty much three kinds of men as far as the Alerans go. You've got the good guys- who are all the same character. Bad Guy Group 1 and Bad Guy Group 2.

Good Guys: Good guys are just that. Good Guys. They're all badass fighters, passionate lovers, and take everything personally. Think of the epitome of a man. Mix in what your girlfriend would think is the epitome of a man. There. Every Good Guy in these books. Let's list 'em- for the hell of it: Bernard, Gaius, Septimus, Araris Valerian, Max, Sir Miles, Giraldi, and even Tavi to some extent. Humble badasses who love their woman (or women in some cases) whole-heartedly, believe in an honest days work and hold extreme loyalty to some other man. "Legionaires to the core" so to speak. Plus, their tragic flaw is the same as well! They all take the weight of some extreme guilt for something they had no control over. Think about it- Bernard feels guilty that everyone dies. Araris feels guilty that everyone dies. Miles feels guilty that everyone dies, Tavi feels guilty that everyone dies. Gaius feels guilty that everyone dies and then blames him. It's like being trapped in room with someone's jewish grandmother.

Bad Guy Group 1: Bad Guy Group one. I like them. Actually- despite what I've said, I like all the men, cept for Bad Guy Group 2. Hey- they're the epitome of man. It's sexy, if not plausible. In any case, Bad Guy Group 1. They're the same as the Good Guys, except with a different loyalty. They actually differ from one another quite a bit. You've got Aldrick ex Gladius, Lord Aquataine, and Fidelias for starters. They appreciate an honest day's work as well... as long as they're getting something good in return. Also sexy in that epitome of maleness sort of way, and these guys don't usually wave around their sympathetic sides. While they seem to feel at least affectionate towards their main women- perhaps even love them, they're not bug-eyed just because the girl is giving them some attention. I really don't have much crap to talk about these guys. I like them. Especially Aldrick. Whoof.

Bad Guy Group 2: These guys are just bad. (I.E. Steadholder Kord and High Lord Kalarus and Kalarus son Brencis) And we're back to them sharing alot of "qualities". They're obsessed with monetary and power gain, to the extent of leaving their people to rot in their own filth while they boost up their own homes. They're both obsessed with slaves, and especially with female slaves that they can... *ahem* use. Now, you could say- but Allison, you stud you, isnt that what bad guys do? Sure they do! And why not? I'll buy it. But by the same token... Do we really need so many of them? Wouldn't one who just doesn't die have sufficed just as well as three or more of these guys? Yeah- they're the ones we love to hate, their innately bad, truly evil. But geeze, I'm getting so much hate I think it's going to backlash and make me hate the good guys- like... persey, Amara. Heh.

But, all in all- I did actually enjoy the books, most of the time. I felt the surprises were predictable, the characters (though sexy) were mostly static and I was never once surprised when the angels descended to save the little hero band. But, I loved the Marat, Kitai and Doroga especially though Hashat was awesome as well. Kitai was a bit predictable as well- but not to the extent that I felt I was getitng slapped with her prescense. Loved what happens between she and Tavi in general. when you read the books you'll know what I mean. THAT I was surprised by. The Cane are pretty nifty as well.. not really many bad things to say about those guys either. So basically, I've only got problems with the Alerans.

Go, seek, enjoy these books. Tell me if I'm totally off-target here. And for god's sake, someone give me something else to read and review!

Atheism in Comcs: An Introduction at best

2007-10-27T00:01:00.000-07:00

Atheism in Comics: When Mr. Terrific can be famous

This is purely an introduction to a bit of atheism, and its not something I have enough to go on in comics to really sit down with, unfortunately.

Atheism in comics is an interesting thing. Now, I’m an atheist myself, and I’m quite open about it (and though I see religion as largely irrational, I do see its merits, hence these articles), so despite my attempts at impartiality in comics, there may be some flitters of my bias within.

Of the many possible questions, one primary thing that Atheism in comic books forces is the question of why these characters are moral. Now, when you’re an atheist, the only thing you truly are is without god. Depending on your definition, Atheism can be dogmatic (Communism), or without dogma (humanism, nihilism). I’m going to go into humanism primarily, because it is the philosophy that demands the most respect for humanity, and wish to help them. Thus, it is the most heroic.

I’ll start with Humanism and Mr. Terrific. While I’ll admit that my awareness of the character is limited, I have found him to be an intriguing character thus far in what I know of him. The impression I get of his atheism, and why he commits acts of heroism is because he feels that humans must help one another, because there is no god to do so for them, and that this is only fair play to those who he tries to save. This is a positive thing. He has morality without god. The basis of humanism is to develop personal ethics based upon respect and compassion for the rest of humanity. Mr. Terrific basis himself around fair play; something he does not see possible from this god being. I’ll write another article on him, though, to go further into his beliefs.

Nihilism is the popular standpoint of villains without explicitly stated religions, by my summation. That’s not to say it is every villain, but it is many of them. Plenty do have explicitly stated religions, or at least dogmatic moral codes (Deathstroke), which keeps them from Nihilism. Many are also non-religious; evading the question. Neither stances are probably conscious. Rather, these philosophies are de-facto, since many probably don’t think of the consequences of their actions pertaining to a god-head, or simply deny a god-head for the convenience of their crimes not having any bearing, since they obviously wouldn’t be humanists for lack of respect for their fellow humans.

This is something that’s hard to blog on, though, since Atheism is uncommon in comics, outside of Communism, which I hesitate to add to this blog, since it is a dogmatic belief system, and more of a cult of personality. The word Cult helps distinguish it from being atheist, since not being a religion keeps you from being a cult, for our purposes at least.

Atheism is rare in comics, and it’s understandable. For the most part, writing someone as an atheist in a world of magic and some very explicit religious figures (the Spectre, Wonder Woman, Thor, etc.), it seems almost ignorant of the world around them. I can easily see that argument in comics, but I would be one to raise you “show me this divine makers order in all of that, then”. The best argument for atheism in comics is, ironically, the retcons and crises of the creators, since most religions promulgate some divine order. Would you honestly believe in god if you were able to go and meet Zeus, Odin, the Spectre, Vishnu, Buddha, the Phantom Stranger, Jonah Hex, the Monitor, and other such beings? Without order, or better editorial, it becomes a fallacy; and apparently a bad quip.

I’m editorializing now, and I acknowledge that, so I’ll end here before I get on a soap box about atheism and religion. I’m trying to keep these articles as secular as I can, so again, its best I end before this becomes more of a typical Arrogant Atheist blog where I talk about irrational things, like George Bush… STOP ME ALLI!

Next time: Agnosticism: Doubting god when you deal with so much evil. And eventually! Raven: Demonolatry and the influence of evil. Which will bleed into Billy Batson and the Child as a Lump of Clay!

Hey Reader

2007-10-23T20:46:00.000-07:00

Hey all one of you, I just wanted everyone to know that I'm starting a second blog (it won't supercede my duties to this one, just co-exist with it), at http://lackasilverliningism.blogspot.com/ for anyone interested. Its a personal blog about my thoughts on daily life, politics, religion and anything else I can think of. You'll find all sorts of things on there, including an archive of the blogs about Super Religion.

Lex Luthor: In the Name of God, I am Become God

2007-10-22T23:35:00.001-07:00

Lex Luthor is a fascinating character. He's not really immoral, as much as he is amoral. A nihilist, he doesn't care about hurting others, as much as he rejects anyone with whom he jockeys for the position of the Greatest, of a near Ubermensch, although Luthor lacks this truly in his amorality. He is a man who seeks himself to be greater than those who are his contemporaries. None can be smarter than him. None can do more good.

"But Andrew!" you say, "Lex Luthor does nothing but evil!" This isn't true. He isn't evil, in that he does not do things in a malicious manner. He needs to be the antitheses, and he is amoral. I cannot stress the term amoral enough. He does not do what he does with conscious knowledge of it being wrong, because he does not believe in morality; again, he’s a Nihilist. Lex believes everything he does will truly save human-kind, and without Superman, can we truly say that Luthor could not have been humanities savior? With his vast intellect and ability, without the competition, with the admiration of those around him, could Luthor not have done the truest good possible? I submit for your consideration an Elseworld, the story of Superman: Red Son. In it, Luthor does things which advance his vision of what is good, using his intellect and ability to take down a man he sees as a dictator, and rightfully so. Lex Luthor does, though, in the end do good. And not just "good", but good. He's able to solve the world’s problems in it by virtue of being brilliant.

That being said, he does have a great personal need to have someone who he is opposed to. Luthor needs to be a hero, if only in his mind. He needs to watch someone wriggle and writhe in his devices. During 52, he went to great lengths to discredit both John Henry Irons and Supernova (Booster Gold). He wants to be the greatest. He needs to be the greatest, or everyone else will suffer for it. He has an obvious psychotic issue, in that respect. It is not a severe one, I would argue. He suffers from hyper-capitalism, pretty much.

Also, I would argue that, sue to his electability for President, he’s publicly a Christian. It makes him seem more normal, even though he’s a nihilistic business man.

Luthor could also be argued as worshipping Superman, as his God upon whom he must commit deicide in order to usurp him. That would bring up a much larger issue for his psychology though, and as I said, I do not believe him to be terribly insane. He’s not the Joker, and no matter how waning his sanity may be, he carries himself better than any psyche patient I’ve ever met (and yes, I’ve met a number). I don’t agree with this, based upon the fact I believe him to be a Nihilist, which would mean he is a type of Atheist (yes, there are multiple types of atheists).

One thing that I do wonder about, in my studies of Nihilism, as well as looking at Luthor as the single smartest man in the DCU, is how he confronts the Nihilist paradox. For those not familiar, the Nihilst belief is that “Truth does not exist”, and for that statement to be true, it would have to be false if you follow its own logic. Luthor, I think, would question the nature of truth, and ultimately come to a notion of scientific truth, lending to his atheism. This does provide an argument against his nihilism, especially since, as I‘ve highlighted, he does believe his attempts at murdering Superman as good and just.

Another facet of Luthor’s religion, though, is his attempts at building around his business a near dogmatic cult of personality. That is akin to communism, which he would not appreciate, I assure you. He does love himself, probably too much, and tries to make everyone else love him, and adore him as the greatest thing ever. He would argue that Superman has a cult of personality, since the Man of Steel is worshipped rather unconditionally, other than Luthor and the rest of his rogues gallery. That might appear as a later blog, though, so I won’t get too far into the Cult of Personality in comics. There are plenty of them, I assure you.

The greatest argument for Luthor's evil, though, comes from his willingness to sacrifice a savior, for what he considers the best possible solution. This I can argue quite easily: He sees what he's doing as Good, because he wants humanity to save itself. Superman is evil because he is an alien. Not because of the good he does which inhibits Luthor's nefarious deeds, or because he made his enemy bald. Luthor sees Superman as evil because he is an alien holding himself as a savior for a species which, Luthor would probably argue, does not need its saving. Luthor believes Humanity can, and more than anything else should save itself. I would find it to be an interesting question of whether Luthor would hate Batman without Superman, or even Green Lantern, since he is only a human wielding a weapon. Truly, neither are beyond Humanity, so would Luthor be against them? That's a subject for another blog, though.

I'll leave you here, with thing to think about and comment on, but expect more on the Philosophy and Ethics of Luthor another time. I'm not certain which issue I'll tackle next. I'm thinking the religion of the Arrow family, but maybe I'll work on that blog about the New Gods. I'm not certain yet. Wait and see,true believers. Or non-believers as you may be like me.

Peace, Justice, and the Jewish Superhero: The concepts of Judaism

2007-10-22T00:34:00.001-07:00

So here we are, the second in my continuing look at the religiosity of heroism, and morality of heroes. Today’s article will, obviously, focus upon Judaism. To represent Judaism I’m choosing four characters: The Ragman of the Shadowpact, his adversary the Golem, the Thing of the Fantastic Four, and the Spectre entity. Each will illuminate different things about Judaism, Jewish Mythology, Judaism in society, and the Jewish Lord. (Out of respect for Jewish practice, I shall not use the name of G-d, other than the title, let’s see if I succeed!).

Ragman, Rory Regan, is one of the most overt Jewish characters since his revitalization in the ‘90s Vertigo revamp of the character. His powers, which were once limited to three corrupt souls who tried to rob his shop, were vastly expanded, and made into a kind of Sheol, the Judaic hell. He absorbs souls and gives them a path to redemption, thereby not killing them so that they may have a better afterlife. It is a resting place, not Gehenna, the Judaic hell, nor is it Heaven. Interestingly enough, in Gehenna, you are only condemned for at most a year’s time, while in Ragman’s suit you are condemned for as long as it takes your sins to absolve. Ragman holds his faith dear, and seems to be at least convicted in it, as evidence by Infinite Crisis and his noteworthy conversation with Mr. Terrific. I would personally find spiritual interaction between he and the equally faithful Blue Devil, a Catholic, interesting due to their deep ties to their religions, but that’s just me.

Also, Ragman’s 1991 miniseries is noteworthy for its emphasis on community, a common theme in Jewish mythology and Biblically. Judaism is a religion based more upon works then upon a personal relationship with its Lord, unlike Christianity. In the story, Ragman’s flight from Batman, who would not approve of his actions for depriving people of life on this plane, causes the Jewish ghetto in Gotham to protect Ragman from Batman. An interesting twist, I think.

The Golem is another Jewish themed character. For a time it was Ragman’s villain, his only way to defeat it being to wipe the Hebrew for “Truth” from it. This is inaccurate, because the Jewish word for “Truth” is “Emet”, and by erasing the part of it to make “Met”, the Hebrew word for Death, it is deactivated. There have been a number of Golems throughout comicdom, including Monolith, and the Thing. I bring all of this up, though, to highlight Judaism expansive, yet oft forgotten mythology. In the Talmud, Adam is first considered a Golem, until later becoming fully human. This is all part of a concept known as “Midrash”, or completion of things. It is where we get Lilith, the castes of Angels, Leviathan, Behemoth and many other Judaic creatures from; this is all more so a side note, something to help you better understand Judaism, the religion’s beliefs, and concepts. Midrash was done because of the tendency of the Biblical writers to bring up characters, names, and concepts and then drops them completely after a single mention.

The Thing is a Golem, he’s a large being of rock, though he lacks a name of the Lord, or Emet, as previously mentioned. He is an interesting character when you take him out of the comic, because like so many Jewish people in the time he was created, including his creators, and many comic creators, was not known to be Jewish. The Thing is an example of a Jewish character whose Judaism is more of a footnote, informs the character, and does not change them. He is a prominent Jewish character, like Kitty Pride, yet it’s not something that comes up terribly often, nor does it seem to affect him too much. The Thing is based on Jack Kirby, who saw him as an alter-ego of sorts, but this was not known until 2002, saying something about the view of Judaism in society.

Now, though, we’ll look at a more interesting concept in comics: The Spectre. He’s not a Jewish character, per say, but even though it is arguable his past three anchors (Jim Corrigan, Hal Jordan, and Crispus Allen) were not Jewish, and probably Christian (okay, Hal’s debatable, but that’s another article), this section of the article is about the Spectre entity. The Spectre is not a compassionate being, and is an important being in DC comics. John Ostrander, a man who had been in seminary to become a Catholic priest (but left), revealed him to be a fallen angel named Aztar, who repented and became this being. He was the slayer of the first born of Egypt, and succeeded Eclipso.

The question is, though, why am I considering him Jewish? This is because we know of the Jewish Lord to be a more vengeful one then Christ. That may sound negative, but the whole concept of Christ’s death was to say that things like the death of all of the first born would not happen again until time’s end, which is pounded in by the Midrash of Christianity. Also I take into account the creator of the character, Jerry Siegel, a Jew himself. I’ll probably have another article on the Spectre itself, as well as its hosts.

That’s all I’ve got on this one. As always, if you think I missed anything, just tell me, and I’ll work on a follow up article. The next one I’m working on is about Lex Luthor’s concept of Religion and God. Here’s a hint: Nietzche will be in it. As well as Nihilism.

Andrew (and Alli)'s top 5: Deaths

2007-10-21T19:00:00.000-07:00

In honor of the Death of the New Gods, we bring you the top 5 deaths. Of course, if we wait until Wednesday, we'll probably have another death we can honor.

Okay, here's how this is gonna work people, we're gonna do the top five "Serious" deaths, and then the top five "Not So Serious" deaths.

5. Jason Todd

Jason's death was an emotional action, effecting Batman in a disturbing and profound manner. It also was one of the most disturbing turns for the Joker, brutally beating his victim mercilously. It was an important death for the DCU, and changed story telling extremely. It also meant something since fans of the book got to choose whether to kill or save Batman's second sidekick. The Robin is now alive, though. More on that later.

4. Captain Boomerang and Jack Drake

Out of the deaths in Identity Crisis, this one effect us more. Not that Sue Dibny's didn't mean something, but recently in Justice League of America, Dinah mentioned that death to Dr. Light two years after the fact in continuity. This death, meanwhile, shaped Owen Mercer to become the heir to his father's legacy, and sent Tim Drake down a dangerous slope closer to becoming Batman, which is a more disturbing notion then we can put into words.

3. Barry "The Flash" Allen

This could have gotten higher, were it not for the DiDio "is he staying dead?" teases in Countdown previews. No character's death impacted the whole multiverse more for longer. It was truly something.

2. Alex DeWitt

The death that launched Women in Refridgerators. This death made the list not for its emotional impact, or universe spanning meaning, but because of that cultural impact. Gail Simone, one of our favorite writers, used this as a launching pad for a feminist perspective, and for a successful carreer so far. Also, she was stuffed in a fridge: that's disturbing.

1. Ted "Blue Beetle" Kord

Ted's death is the most recent on our list, and one that lifted a lesser known character to a major player, only to put a bullet through his head. We're not bitching about this death as many do, Beetle does mean more dead then he did alive, honestly, but he also works as good segway with the following panel.

Honorable mentions: Captain America (C'mon, no one believes he's dead, this was his 11th). Batman (He's died almost as many times as Captain America). Ra's Al Ghul (Lazarus Pit FTW!). Booster Gold (His death had some people goin... Not Alli though, and she'll be the first to tell you that). Supergirl (would've meant more were it not for Powergirl, she's better, bigger... brains). Donna Troy ("I'm not quite dead yet"). Big Barda (She was killed in her kitchen, off-panel. That's stupid)

5. Oliver "Green Arrow" Queen

He chose to die so that Superman wouldn't save him. Only an insane blonde archer would choose to die for his arm. He went in a blaze of glory, Bon Jovi Style, but he died for his arm. He also died again by having his jugular stabbed by Black Canary, even though we all knew he wasn't dead. That was a shitty death. Shitty shitty death.

4. Alex "Fridgegirl" DeWitt

She got stuffed into a fridge to make Kyle Rayner more sympathetic. Need we say more? You can't force more sympathy for Kyle, unless you kill his dog too.

3. Jason "I'm Crazier then Batman now" Todd

His death meant something before Judd Winick. Now he's just a joke. Note that the prior three deaths were touched by Judd Winick to some extent.

2. Ch'p

So much as we love the space squirrel, he was killed by a yellow truck. Can you honestly think of a better death for a space squirrel? Alli dare's you. Because she "knows you wouldn't dare!"

1. Pariah

The character who's power was to die, dies. That's pretty damn funny. Thank you Alex Luthor.

So that's our top 5 deaths. Serious and not.

Vixen and Wally

2007-10-21T16:30:00.000-07:00

It's that time again. I know you're all SUPER excited.. as I can see from the multitude of comments. But here we are. And tonight's lucky winners are Vixen and Wally West. Go them. Hopefully they fair a little better than Wonder Woman and Dr. Magnus.

Vixen / Mari McCabe

Personality: She's a little stand-off ish. Maybe it's from taking the form of a Lone Wolf one too many times. But she gets the job done. Again, Lone Wolf-ish. She can be pretty wild, feral even. Rawr. Unpredictability doesn't necessarily bode well for a superhero. After all, in Green Lantern- Hal Jordan knew she was there because she was growling. There's no need for that. Really Vixen, Hal might not be the nicest... or sanest guy on the block- but he is technically on your team. That said, she's also for animal rights (why the hell not?). Bonus. And she's a friend of Animal Man. Always a bonus. Still though, she has the whole high-maintainance vibe about her. Probably from working as a model. At least she's not an Amazonian Princess. We give Vixen's personality a

17 out of 25

Costume: Damn. Daaayyummn. Emphasis on yum. It seems to flow well with her powers, and matches up with her attitude towards being a superhero. Plus- Female superhero in pants? Big bonus points for lack of panty-shots. It also hearkens back to her African roots, since she is actually FROM Africa. Nice emphasis on the totem. Wish it wasn't exactly Black Cat low cut though. I think they share the same tailor. We give Mari's costume a rating of

22 out of 25

Powers: If she still had any powers, they would be freaky. There's something to be said about being an animal in bed (Woof.) but think about the extremes there! That one night stand could end badly. And now, with her current change-o-powers... it might be worse. Think about it. It's like having sex with a Supergirl who doesn't know her own strength. And could end up taking someone else's powers at any moment. Maybe she should have a lesbian relationship with Rogue. Then they could both finally get some. We give Vixen's powers a rating of

17 out of 25

Day Job/ Alter Ego: Four words. She's. A. Super. Model. SOLD! 24 out of 25

Miscellaneous Deductions:

She needs the totem to focus her powers. If it was OUR JLA, we'd opt for Buddy. After all, it takes a lot more effort to take his powers away. Then again, we could just expose him to the Rogue/Vixen relationship and BOOM, helpless Animal Man. -3

J.L.A. Detroit- Need we say more? -5

She had a "Moment" with Geoforce. Geoforce. Go have a moment with Batman and you'll get less points taken off for this! -3

Final Score: 69 out of 100.

She beat Wonder Woman! Just barely. But still. If it wasn't for that damn J.L.A. Detroit.... Damn you, Aquaman and Martian Manhunter! Damn you! And Geoforce too. Damn him while you're at it as well.

The Flash / Wally West

Personality: Where as Andrew believes that Wally is a sort of middle ground between Nightwing and Arsenal, and therefore not as interesting, I disagree. We do agree that Wally isn't necessarily the brightest crayon in the box. He's no Dr. Magnus, that's for sure. But, he is a good husband, and a good father. And the most wonderful thing about his personailty is the reason why he took up the superhero life style to begin with. He does the right thing, because it's the right thing. Not because his parents were killed in a random shoot-out- simply because it's the right way to use his powers to do good. Major points for that. We give his personality a rating of

19 out of 25

Costume: Wally's costume is awesome. Not original. But that's part of what makes it great- it's a great legacy symbol. And of course- look at the colors. I dare you to think of better colors to convey speed. You wouldn't dare. Of course, Wally has made a few little mistakes in the costume department. Kid Flash costume. Not great- and Shiny Flash? Well, he must have gotten the idea from Minty-Fresh Superman. We give Wally's costume a rating of

24 out of 25

Powers: What can't you do with superspeed? Honestly, what villian can you NOT beat with Superspeed? But besides that- how sexy is superspeed? Well, You've got the obvious. Andrew doesn't understand who would want to have sex with someone who can vibrate. I tend to disagree.... GREATLY. I think the true question is what woman wouldn't want to have sex wtih a man who can vibrate? Talk about Boy-Toy. But then there's the extreme... and if anyone has been reading Welcome to Tranquility, let me just draw attention to the fact that Superspeed Sex could be quite painful, if not managed properly. Very Painful. We give Wally's Powers a rating of

20 out of 25

Day Job / Alter Ego: Grease Monkeys are sexy. Though I do some how always imagine his relationship with Linda to be something like the relationship between Carrie and Doug from King of Queens. After all, she's hot with a high paying job. And while she's not necessarily out of his league- I'm glad it doesn't bother him that she's most DEFINATELY the breadwinner. We give Wally's day job a rating of

18 out of 25

Miscellaneous Deductions:

Married with Kids. Affairs are not cool. Even though good daddies are hot. We always want what we can't have. Too Bad. Linda is one lucky fictional character. -2

Everything that happened with Inertia. While it's not quite killing someone, it certainly is a form of torture. Obviously, we thought Wally was better than that. -7

A hero is only as good at his villians. And check out those Awesome Rogues, and ZOOM! +1

Recall early Teen Titans, with Raven's first appearance. Yeah, she manipulated his head and made him think he was in love with her- which makes it her fault- but at the same time, after all that got sorted out... he was kind of a bastard to her. Yeah, yeah yeah, she probably deserved it- but doesn't every body make mistakes? You'd think Barry's side kick could find a little bit of forgiveness in his speedster heart. -3

Final Score : 70 out of 100

Wow! Wally Wins! Today beats last week! ..... Okay, so perhaps we were a bit harsh last week- especially on Wonder Woman- but she's a tough Amazon Warrior Princess, she can take it. Speaking of taking it. Rogue and Vixen. Now there's a couple you don't see everyday.

Sympathy for the Devil: Dystheism and Darkseid

2007-10-19T00:44:00.000-07:00

Jack Kirby’s Fourth World is easily one of the most prominent and influential comic book series in the history of the medium. With the “Death of the New Gods”, and the decision Alli and I had to have me do a series of articles on religion in comic books, I’m gonna start there.

In this landmark series, we are introduced to Darkseid, the leader of Apokolips and the God of it. He is not just a simplistic Machiavellian dictator, no, he is much more. He is the God of his planet, while the devil of New Genesis. He is a dictator, make no mistake. He’s unblinkingly brutal, he’s up for subjugation, and he has disdain for what’s often seen as “good”. I do need to mention, though, that Apokolipsian Darkseid Worship is monotheistic, like Christianity, Islam or Judaism. That is an important distinction between it and New God worship, which is polytheistic to its people, although the belief in the Source is much more akin to Buddhism or Hinduism.

The two main lapsed practitioners of this faith are Scott “Mister Miracle” Free, and Big Barda Free. They’ve both lost faith in this religion. Scott has a sentiment that no one should be able to subjugate others. He’s against Darkseid’s suppression of his people, and seeks to escape it. He’s truly an enlightened character. He has escaped his fear of Darkseid, though he still fears being enclosed like he was on Apokolips, which keeps him from being the Green Lantern of Fourth World. What? I can’t quip to make sure you’re paying attention.

Barda, on the other hand, the argument could be made does not disbelieve for the same noble reasons. Barda disbelieves more so thanks to Scott then her own decision. She’s expressed missing the battles she was allowed there. It might not be nearly as much that she actually misses the faith, but she misses what she was able to do on the planet, which she is not on Earth. Barda’s a warrior, and Darkseid encouraged her to be one.

Now, the overall Dogma of Darkseid Worship has yet to be revealed, although the Bible of Crime may illuminate that, once that’s out, I’ll be reading it, and we might have a new essay. Darkseid, though, is very much a Monotheistic dystheism. It is a negative God holding his followers through fear and subjugation. Scott escaped, and learned not to fear god, though he became one with God. I need to do a good bit more research on the Hinduism and Buddhism traditions before you get the full essay on these. I’d prefer not to write at length on what I don’t know well enough.
Darkseid is comparable to the Judeo-Christian God’s worst moments. He’s violent, and he rules by making his people believe he is all that protects them from a worse fate. I reminded of the threat of Hell. Apokolips is Hell, though. So then, how does he remain in control? It’s simple: Pleasure control. Yes, like a sado-masochist, its pleasure denial/pleasure control. He makes sure his citizens get enough good to satiate them, and to love him when it comes, but he treats them poorly enough that they’re not happy enough to question him.

He has his apostles; Granny Goodness, Kalibek, Kanto, Virmin Vundabar and Desaad are the most obvious. Granny is most like a priest. She initiates the young, forcing them into their beliefs. She failed with Scott. I’m not going to go into all of them, because it would be long winded, and I don’t want this blog too be too much. I want it to be rather basic. Granny is the most important, since she’s the one who affects the most characters via her orphanages. She affected Scott and Barda greatly, since she was the one who ran the orphanage Scott was imprisoned at and Barda was the leader of the Female Furies she controlled.

It’s worth noting that there are beings on Apokolips with powers, like Darkseid’s sons Kalibek and Gayven, the Female Furies, Glorious Godfrey, or even Sleaze. Despite this, they are more among different tiers of Saints, committing miracles not akin to polytheism, not even one like the New Gods, since Darkseid is the one above all, and the only to be worshipped. As a lowly, you can ask the others for helps, you’ll just be beheaded.

That’s all I got for now. Any questions, just ask and I’ll try my best to answer them. My next essay I’m looking to do something on the religion of Judaism, and Jewish characters. That means we’ll have the Ragman, the Thing, the Golem, and the Spectre among others, as well as a dissertation on Judaic heroism, and the emphasis that belief puts upon works. Future essays will be on Christianity (of varying characters, and sects), Islam, Hinduism, and even though it is not a religion Atheism (of various types). I will also look at fictional Religions, as well as look at specific characters (like Lex Luthor, and the Guardians of the universe). If you like this article, get on me about them, or get on Alli to get one me about them.

Also, I began to write this before the Death of the New Gods came out, so Barda was alive. Now, though, we all know that the greatest Warrior to come off of Apokolips was now killed, off camera, in her kitchen (just like Katma Tui, for those that read my Lantern article).

Also, for more on the religions of your favortie characters religions, go to the website

Andrew's Top 5: Green Lanterns

2007-10-11T23:10:00.000-07:00

Hey, why not?

I love Green Lantern. I love the concept. I love Hal. I love Sinestro. There are 7200 Green Lanterns, not including Alan Scott or the fallen, and I'm pretty sure that doesn't count other ones, like Kyle. So I'm counting down my top 5 Lanterns. I'm gonna try to avoid the major Lanterns, meaning I'm nixing the 5 human Lanterns, esspecially Hal, since he'd win otherwise. And I'm keeping them alive, and current members. And green.

5. Arisia

I was never Arisia's biggest fan until very recently. Really, it was her banter with Sodam Yat in the most recent Green Lantern Corps that sold me on her. And the fact that she was the only Lantern to go "I will not kill!", that's awesome. She's very admirable, gotta love her for that. She's also not taking any of Yat's cocky bull shit. She wins for that, although I'm a bit upset with her choice of costume. I mean, come on girl, have some self respect.

4. Mogo

Ah, Mogo. Truly, he is awesome. He's a planet, and the most esssential Lantern there is. He's truly great. His partner Bzzd is fairly cool too, but didn't make this list. Mogo socializes more than he probably should, though.

3. Kilowog

Kilowog, drill sergeant of the corps, and not a cute guy. He's strong, doesn't take any crap, but is still loveable. He's the big pink and green, what's not to love?

2. Salakk

Salakk's fun. He's cynical, pessimistic, hates Guy, and is extremely pedantic. I'd be him if I were a Lantern, honestly. I enjoy him greatly. He hates the Lanterns of Earth, is quite Machiavellian, and is quite possibly the most capable of the Lanterns. Go Salakk!

1. Soranik Natu

Soranik Natu. Newest Lantern from Korugar. She's lovely. Sexy, but not over sexualized. Brilliant (she's a surgeon). Not a stereotype (which is awesome). She's a powerful female character who doesn't take any shit from Iolande (her partner). And she can heal Mogo when he's infected with a virus! Awesome! Sure, she lost her battle to Sinestro, but that doesn't make her any less awesome. She opposes fascism, in every possible way, in a large part out of fear. She's afraid of being like Sinestro, which is admirable, since Korugar doesn't have a good history with Lanterns. Yes, she kinda screwed over her first partner, and yes, she's pissed of Kilowog, but she's a great character, and I personally love her version of the uniform (again, it shows her chest without being overly demeaning, unlike Arisia's). I'll be interested to see how she's able to deal with what Sinestro did to Korugar "for" her after the war, and how Iolande and her deal

with one another. In all, I like the character alot.

Damn right!

Kicking off The Week!

2007-10-11T19:52:00.000-07:00

Well, here we are, Thursday night- and we were thinking to ourselves, who are the hottest superheroes in DC Comics? And so, in the fashion of any good old Internet Age- Andrew and I have decided to put together our own Super Stud Review, bringing you cheesecake, and beefcake panels from all of your favorite DC Comics - complete with our own opinions on the subject! and to kick off the week- we're bringing you one heroine and one hero.

And tonight's lucky winners are... Wonder Woman (of course!) and Doctor William Magnus (Yeah.... That's right... Doc Magnus.)

Wonder Woman/Diana Prince

Personality: empathetic and compassion, but with a holier-than-thou under tone. Too nice to a snob, but too snobby to be sweet. Sexy... sexy in the sense that she's so far out of your league, she won't even date famous football players. We give her personality a rating of

17 out of 25

Costume: Only person who could make lining her costume with gold WORK. Satin tights, fighting for rights? I'm sold. And what can't be said about star-spangled hot pants (or thongs, depending on the artist). If any other superheroine wore a tiara, princess or not- it just wouldn't come off quite the same. We give Wonder Woman's costume a rating of

20 out of 25

Powers: She's the spawn of a God. Grew up on an island entirely populated by women. Need we say more? And her only weakness is bondage ... HOT. We give her powers a rating of

25 out of 25

Day Job/ Alter Ego: Agent for the Department of Metahuman Affairs. Not nearly as sexy as her old day job. Warrior, Princess, Ambassor. What more could you want? But apparently that's not good enough anymore. Now she has to go hunt herself. That sounds more erotic than it is. Major negative points for having Nemesis as a partner. We give her day job a rating of

12 out of 25

Miscellaneous Deductions: Honestly, out of the Big Three- she kinda doesn't fit in. And it's not because she's a woman. She seems the least human of the Trinity- which is hard to do, since Superman's an alien, and Batman might as well be. Points lost for inability to connect. Fear of Intimacy perhaps? -5

Secondly, she's the only member of the Trinity who has killed. Now, while we know that Maxwell Lord really REALLY deserved it.. killing isn't something well suited to one of those heroes that are put on a pedestal- and as such, they must be held to a higher standard. -5

Final Score: 64 out of 100.

Who'd have thought Wonder Woman could score that low? It's a little depressing. Honestly, we think it's the Diana Prince thing. That's where she made the big boo-boos. Poor girl. She deserves better than that. Oh well, better luck when she finds a NEW JOB.

Doctor William Magnus/ Creator of the Metal Men

Personality (Personalities): Some serious
personality flaws here. A couple of them are endearing- a few more are gonna cost him some points. He's obsessed with science. To the extreme. Absent minded professor doesn't begin to cover it. We've watched him give up the woman he loved ( a human woman no less) in order to persue testing of respondometers. Kind of endearing- kind of .. well- wrong. Multiple personality disorder and severe depression aren't exactly attractive either, but he's got medication for that- and those flaws certainly make him a more believable character. We give Doc's personality a rating of

14 out of 25

Costume: Doc doesn't really have a "costume" persey. But for the sake of argument, we're going to consider the plaid shirt, dinner jacket, bow tie, suspenders and of course, pipe all to be his costume. And who else could pull it off? Let's face it, Doc makes the fifties version of the educated man sexy again. Hey Doc, I ever tell you you make me liquid at room temperature? We give Doc's costume a rating of

22 out of 25

Powers: He doesn't have any powers. But neither did Einstein. Big brains win every single time. And besides, who needs powers whenyou've got the Metal Men doting on you? No one. that's who. We give Doc's powers a rating of

17 out of 25

Day Job / Alter Ego: He's a scientist. He could probably solve the world's problems, like pollution, and using up fossil fuels and a cure for cancer or a build a better mouse trap. But he created the Metal Men. Way to live up to your potential, Doc. We give Doc's day job a rating of

17 out of 25

Miscellaneous Deductions:

He created a robot who has the hots for him. A little sexy... more creepy. After all, he had a real woman ready to buy the cow- but nope.. he'd rather have his platinum blow up doll.

-5

He turned himself into a robot. Bad move.

-5

Smoker. Although the pipe is sexy... are we sure it couldn't just be a bubble pipe?

-2

Final Score: 58 out of 100

A respectable score for basically a supporting character. Doc's very much an aquired taste. And, not surprisingly, is not hotter than Wonder Woman.

Thems the breaks. If anyone has any questions or comments- leave us a pretty message. Especially if you happen to have a suggestion on which superhotties should be graded next!

-Al and Andrew