Two Speedies for the Price of One!

Mia Dearden/ Speedy II

Personality: Mia's pretty levelheaded, compared to the rest of the Arrow clan- though she can be a bit cocky- it's part of her charm. She's crass and vulgar- which we always love in a lady, but she does have a tendancy to blow little things out of proportion and while leaving the big things to fester. Example, "I have HIV. It's okay." vs. "I don't want to join the Teen Titans and I'm going to throw a temper tantrum." Temper Tantrums are never attractive, and neither is the festering and rotting. She has a fixation with Connor, but who can blame her honestly? After all, the boy kissed her- twice- and hasn't done anything since. Andrew and I agree that we would both be frustrated with him after that. She's also extremely well adjusted for her history. Her dad raped her, sold her into prositution, she lived with an abusive pimp/boyfriend, did lots of drugs, and finally after getting out of all that- finds out she has H.I.V. and she's really not all that bitter about it. Seems like she should get some major bonus points for that. We her personality a rating of

21 out of 25.

Costume: We love the mesh arrow. Nice cleavage without showing boob. It works. Plus the deep red and dark yellow are a good color combination, we like them. It's a solid and strong color grouping. Then again, we said that for Wally too- so let's not beat the dead horse. We like red and yellow. The short cape always works out well for ladies, but I think we could go either way on the hood. It lends the whole "Robin Hood" feel to Green Arrow's side kick- but... we might be able to do without it. We give her costume a rating of

18 out of 25

Powers: What powers? Does keeping Ollie and Connor from killing each other count as a super power? That being said, her ability to work a shaft is sexy. We could continue with the dirty archery comments until the cows came a-mooing home, but back to the point... Archery = hot. Period. No arguements. Name one un-sexy archer. We dare you. That's right, you wouldn't dare. Even Merlyn the Magician is hot. Let's not get me started on him. She's a decent archer- somewhere in her archery skills between Connor at the low point and Roy at the high point with Ollie above the other two boys. Any debates about Connor's archery skill levels should be directed towards the comments on this page, please. Plus, she can make her own trick arrows. Hot. We give her powers (or lack there of) a rating of

16 out of 25

Day Job/Alter Ego: She's H.I.V. postive. Now, while we all know that safe sex can partially eliminate the threat of "catching" H.I.V., it's not exactly something that makes us all hot and bothered. Don't get us wrong. We still love Mia, and we'd still have crazy awesome sex with her. We'd just wear a condom to do it. She's still in high school... but that's never really much of an issue- and aside from that her day job is to babysit Ollie when Dinah's not around to kick his ass. But she does it with such great attitude, we can't help but admire her. She really does need to get back in the Titans though, otherwise we're hardly ever gonna see her in comics anymore. Judd Winick bashing aside, we give her day job/alter ego a rating of

12 out of 25

Miscellaneous Deductions:
The colors of her costume and her code name really seem to scream more "Flash Sidekick" rather than Green Arrow sidekick. You'd think Green Arrow's sidekick would be more... I dunno... Green? I guess that's what they have Connor for. -2

Final Score: 62 out of 100 We love Mia. Yay Mia. Not a bad score for a sidekick.

Roy Harper/ Speedy / Arsenal / Red Arrow

Personality: It should never be said that Roy doesn't love the ladies. He has great love for the ladies- pretty much ALL the ladies. Maybe too much love. Which resulted in one of the most adorable kids in all of comics, Lian. And everyone knows that good Daddies are hot. It's true. And for as much crap as Lian ends up going through, let it never be said that Roy wouldn't/doesn't go to the ends of the earth for her. She may have been the product of an ill-concieved one night stand (sort of), but he loves that little girl, and that's major points. Back to his past though, He was a heroin addict. Not good. But, on the other hand, he did, eventually, get over it, and hasn't "fallen off the wagon" so to speak. And yeah, we have to mention it because it happened, but Allison for one would really wish people would stop saying "That guy in JLA, wasn't he a junkie?" There's a lot more to the character than just his past drug use. That's like saying "That Wonder Woman, didn't she kill a guy?" It's been twenty odd years. Writers and readers alike need to get over it. When he was younger, he was fairly prone to hero-worship, which put the kid in an awkard situation when his heroes were... well... Ollie and Hal. And luckily, as he's aged, it's muted into a sort of humility when it comes to other heroes that are bigger and better. He may act like he thinks he's more important than Superman, but if Superman says jump, Roy says How High? We give his personality a rating of

17 out of 25

Costume: Which. Freaking. One. The current one could be better. The "red arrow" costume from his miniseries was good. The Arsenal costume with the navajo leaf on it was pretty sexy. The leather jacket was bad, especially with the shaved head. The Blue one from the 80s? What in the world? Why would anyone dress a red-headed irish boy up in blue? That'd almost be as bad as putting him in green! Speaking of Green, we can't ever get away from that first image of little Roy, yellow hat, yellow gloves and boots, with red leggings and a tunic to match his mentor. Sigh, oh the old days. Unfortunately the old days are gone, and for the sake of saving a little time and confusion we're rating his current Red Arrow costume. Allison likes the shoe laces up the chest. Andrew does not. We are glad that the hat has not made a fashionable resurgance though- and thank God he's not wearing blue anymore. Play to your strong suits, Roy. The sentimental value of the new costume is great though- ALMOST to the point of making up for the fact that in 20 years, (If Kingdom Come is to be believed) he's going to look like a red headed Ollie... which was not a flattering look for him. Oh Roy. Whatever shall we do with you? We do miss the soul-patch though. It seemed to make any costume work. Maybe if he brought back the soul patch, we'd be so enamored with it we'd forget how bad the new costume looks.

12 out of 25.

Powers: Once again, Archer = sexy. Whoof. As Stan would say, 'Nuff freakin' said.

16 out of 25

Day Job / Alter Ego: You have to wonder what it says on Roy's Resume.... Current Occupation: Professional Superhero. Previous Occupations: Sidekick. Current Employer: Justice League of America. Previous Employer(s): Oliver Jonas Queen. I would kill for Roy's resume. Besides, how cool is it to be a superhero for a living? No need for a day job, Roy can bring home the bacon without it. Plus, while he's running around superheroing at night- what does he do during the day? Takes care of his baby. What better job could one have, I ask you? We really enjoy Roy's religious persuasions too. Before anyone bashes on Roy as being anti-religious or what not, I recommend you read his miniseries "Arsenal" written by Devin Grayson. She's not a particularly good writer, and I have plenty of crap I could talk about her- but this series was very well done, and digs into his Navajo roots. It's refreshing to see a character who believes in something you don't find every day- especially considering how he's as white as they come. All in all, we're fans of Roy's "day job", and we're giving it a rating of....

22 out of 25

Miscellaneous Deductions:
Too many names for me to type just to get this damn article written. Speedy, Arsenal, Red Arrow- pick one and stick with it for more than three issues, K? -3

speaking of names, Speedy? Speedy? We're blaming Roy for Mia's previous miscellaneous deductions- after all, he started it. But- as the joke goes... "You should have heard his first choice.." and of course there's the infamous "Speedy? I thought they didn't call you that anymore" etc. etc. We exhaust ourselves with these jokes. -5

We know Roy loves the ladies- but how many ladies has the boy TRULY loved? We mean true love. Look at it, he LOVED Donna- she's his childhood sweetheart whom he still feels for to this day. He LOVED Cheshire- still does, she's his baby's mama and he just can't help himself. He LOVES Dinah. It's that whole "You're hot and you came around about the time I was going through puberty and I'm not sure if I should think dirty thoughts about you or pretend your my mom." that he's never going to grow out of. Should he really be DATING at this point instead of just having sex like usual? Also- his choice in women isn't exactly the best. We stand by the thought that out of all the women that Roy has LOVED, Dinah was the only one who could have ever been any good for him- too bad she's in love with his MENTOR. Arguements should be sent to Rosewilsonworth@aol.com :) -4, one for each love.



Final Score: 53 out of 100
Because we love him so much, we had hoped that Roy would score higher, and in fact he'd be tied with Mia if he hadn't gotten all those damn deductions. So... sexy as he may be, gotta watch out for the ridiculously frequent name changes, heart-on-my-sleeve notions of romance and the fact that, simply put- with a name like "Speedy" you've either just lost your virginity, or you need to be a Flash Sidekick.