Review: The Sinestro Corps War

I decided I wanted to review the war in retrospect of the entire thing, with its conclusion having come out last Wednesday. I've never hid my Lantern fandom, so expect me to suck Geoff Johns, Dave Gibbons, Pat Gleason, Ivan Reis and Ethan van Sciver's collective cocks as I look at it, while I am going to try to be negative when I see it as fit; for example, the Qward issues of GL. I apologize for my scanner.

Although the storyline officially started in the Sinestro Corps one shot, Green Lantern Corps readers would be wise to remember that it technically started with Despolites, the virus Sinestro, attempting to effect Mogo a few issues earlier, in an arc which introduced Bzzd, and dealt more with Mogo's actual abilities to make constructs. The overall things that arc did that had any bearing on the War were, A) wound Mogo, he got in the path of a meteor to get Despolites off of him! B) destroy Stel, the Robot Lantern, which led into the beginning of the Second Battle of Mogo, and C) Bring up the children of the White Lobe, necessary characters in the Battle and prophecy.

But, let's get into it. We start with the One Shot, with van Sciver's beautiful art, accept for one panel of Black Canary, Red Arrow and Red Tornado. I thought one of the best ideas in this issue was the focus on Kyle, whom many fans have feared would become a nominal background character upon Hal's return. I think he's kept in prominence, myself, although Hal's primary. Looking back, there are a couple of lines that show great importance, and make Cyborg Superman's survival an obvious choice.

SEE! His death lust is gonna come up.

Then the battle of Oa begins, with a Sinestro Ring snatching Kyle, as well as blasting through Tomar Re's ear, and one unfortunate, and oddly uniformed, hand. The splash pages never reach the level of being gratuitous, as common as they are, because the things that are splashed have impact because of it. Although, one of my favorite panels is this one:
It shows the cost without actually having to show it, like so many of Geoff Johns' books that border on gratuitous. Of course, then Kylellax, and the big reveal of the Anti-Monitor. First issue's a win.


Then we start Lantern 21, which is the "calm before the storm" issue. Probably the most forgettable, because of its extreme focus on Hal, and his past. I would have enjoyed seeing more from John and Guy's Parallax induced visions than a bit mention a couple issues later. Its a weak issue, with the most meaningful thing feeling like its the comments of Sayd and Ganthet, which show levity later on.

We can move forward, though, since that issue is forgettable, onto Corps 14. I like Soranik Natu, this is known, and her strengths, as well as Sinestro's are greatly noted by Dave Gibbons. Its a good battle, and a the art by Pat Gleason is solid. This issue's importance really is nominal, though, with Sodam Yat being the most important thing in the issue, as well as this being Sinestro's only real appearance in Corps. It does set a major tone though: Sinestro knows how to win by losing.

Back to the main books, which is, in fact, better with the larger picture. Pages that felt wasted (Superman-Prime on the moon), no longer do. This issue, the first in the battle of Qward isn't the most notable, though. Yes, Reis' art is amazing, but other than Boodika's los of her hand, and Jack Chance's death, not much happens. Also, the fighting isn't as interesting as Johns is capable of. We can slide this one back in its sleeve, though.

Parallax one-shot. Ron Marz has a hard-on for Kyle. He really does. Only other thing of note: this art is magnificent!

Corps 15 is where that books picks up. Arkillo of the Sinestros is officially Gibbons' to use for the rest of the story, and we get the first battle that feels massive, and feels like there's a real risk. On a character note, though, we get an interesting look at Salaak, with his mentioning the White Lobe being on Mogo, and the apparent tremble in his voice. It shows how much he knows. One thing I did love was that this issue showed Arisia as a strong character, something Gibbons does to great effect in this battle. Also, box Lantern.


Issue 23 of Green Lantern. Ugly Guy face.
The character moments in this issue are much better than in previous, with great dialog between the Earth Lanterns, and even the alien ones. Also: Yay consistency! I like the fact that we manage to keep Graff Toren's ring slinging the same spider-web. This is really the issue that Sinestro wins, though, with the new law put on the books. Good as the rest of the plot line is, remembering that kind of makes me go "oh... yeah... it was technically lost then". Hurts the overall arc on rereads although it hols up.

Corps 16, with the conclusion of the Battle of Mogo. Chthos dies. He will be missed in his ugliness and vague sexist attitude. Go Arisia! You tell them boys! The arts impressive in that it manages to stay even, despite the noticeable two artists. I cannot claim to find Unzueta's art nearly as good as Gleason's. This does, though, conclude the risk to the Corps, thanks to it ending the Alan Moore prophecy of the fall of the Corps.

Cyborg Superman. While most of this issue is a retread of his origin and motives, we get an interesting panel, in that its a stark anachronism in DCU, with George Bush, the 9/11 attacks, and Middle Eastern War.


Other than the rampant "LOL Marbel" through out (Henshaw's origin, the Skrulls in panel), not much happens. Still, weird ass panel that makes this one interesting.


And now the last actual Green Lantern book for FIVE ISSUES. The beginning of the battle of Earth has this pretty spread.

Just look at how angry Sinestro is. I enjoyed this one, for the way it bring the war home. It makes it seem like there's a cost to us and not just this comic universe. It was one of the best ideas they had to bring it to Earth, and the issue's great. This is the first issue of Lantern that it feels like shit happens. Good stuff. And John Stewart is black, in case you missed it.

Blue Beetle, the only tie-in outside of the Green Lantern books and one-shots. I would care more if I'd been read the series, but I have not been, and thus, I lack the vested interest in Peacemaker, Jaime, and this overall story. Unfortunate, I feel like I could have if I had been reading it. This issue does have Hitler, though. Still less of an anachronism then the Cyborg page.

Green Lantern 17: I miss Gleason... The dialog is great, though, especially Guy and Natu. She hates Guy, its awesome.

Still, on the record we have for the law:
Boodikka
Hannu
Sodam Yat
Salaak (ish)
Vath Sarn
Isamot
Brikk
Laira
Raker
Kraken (not a surprise, since they're from Apokolips)
and Guy probably would if he had to

Against:
Arisia
Soranik Natu
Kilowog

Unknown:
Hal
John
Kyle (okay, we can really presume they'd go against)
Iolande
Graff Toren
Tomar Re
Bzzd
Mogo


And you have now enjoyed Andrew shows how many Lanterns he can name! The fight between Kilowog and Arkillo's good, and I really did love that he let him live. I like when characters show restraint like that.
Best line: "Poozers! No!" I love Kilowog. Also, Ion's new costume's one I like, since it's primarily green. Its distinct.

Superman-Prime. Mmm... Pete Woods art. "LOL stupidest boy dead LOL". I'm gonna go on the record as saying that I LIKE Superman-Prime as a villain. He's compelling to me, since he is an indignation of fans who have a sense of entitlement. He's like the Forum Trolls who say "This sucks because it isn't what I'm used to!". He's a brilliant pastiche of the worst fans, who are common in this small medium. Part of me thinks he's Geoff Johns' way of keeping himself in perspective, as a fan with godly powers over the medium.

And onto Corps 18. The fights good, Yat's deal-with-able. This issue, though, feels out of place. It feels like, thanks to the delay on Green Lantern, they shoehorned this in. Again, it isn't bad, but its utterly forgettable, and the first Corps issue to really disappoint me. I could give or take it.

Then we get the big one, the grand finale, the battle to end all battles, until 2009! GREAT issue. Ivan Reis really comes into his own, at times surpassing van Sciver, the commonly thought better artist of the two. His splash pages are rich, with little nuggets through out them. The two week delay was well worth it just for the beauty of this issue. Reis shows that he is one of the best artists in the market.


Van Sciver, meanwhile, gives it his all too, really showing the individual batteries as something to behold. And then his splash page is amazing in itself, giving the varied corps as sense of identity, between the vomiting Red Lanterns, the healing Indigo, and what looks like it should be a fantastic war. Side note: if I ever say that again, kill me.
Coast City is given character too, as cheesy as the whole thing feels. Its my one complaint about this book. Seriously, why did we need green Coast city. The Guardians join the battle in a big way, taking on the Anti-Monitor, getting scarred, and dying. They're still sniveling cowards, but its almost redeeming to see them fight and sacrifice. Sinestro reveals his win, looking deliriously evil in this panel:


Guy really wins, though. He's getting increasingly ill and he still manages to come up with the idea to defeat the Anti-Monitor. It doesn't actually work, but still. And we get a touching moment with Hank Henshaw, making him infinitely sympathetic. One thing that I really did like, was how unimportant the other heroes felt, because it drove home with is a Green Lantern book and story-arc. Its interesting to note that no one that is not involved in either corps has a single line.

The best fight, though, is Sinestro, Hal and Kyle. Fun stuff, if only for the 2x4 to the head of Sinestro. Bastard deserved it.

Then we get the epilogue of the story, with the formation of the Blue Lanterns of Ganthet and Sayd, and the reveal of the Black Lantern build up. Alli describes that as DC Zombies, I describe it as foreshadowed in issue 6, and the return of Nekron of the Undead, more on that later. I look forward to the Blackest Night, though. I have high expectations for it.

In the epilogues for the other books, though, Ion was forgettable, and I really enjoyed the Corps epilogue. Yay Gleason art! The individual moments were amazing, be it the mourning of Vath Sarn, Kilowog's r & r, Isamot's deiance, Iolande's boredom or Sorank returning to the one thing she loves the most, doctoring.



Then we have a lot of set-up for the Alpha Lanterns, I'm assuming, and the arc v. Mongul.

Great story line, with some great character nuggets hidden in the storyline. Good stuff. Escapism like this is why I'm a comic fan.

Happy Christmas, the war is over

Andrew's Webcomic Review

Alright, so, as an avid Webcomic reader, I decided I'd review a few of 'em. By that I mean probably around ten, depending on how bored I get or don't get.

Obviously, we must first start with the perennial webcomic: Penny Arcade.

Its a damn fun read, usually hitting the mark with humor and a vibrant art style. The characters are likable, albeit under-characterized. If you like video games, it'll hit the mark, if not, the vast majority of the humor and jokes will miss you completely. Most of the jokes are a dialog between Gabe and Tycho, with Tycho usually playing straight man to Gabe, and it usually works, although they'll occasionally need to bring in another character, like Gabe's girl friend in the comic above, to get the joke through. Recurring plot is minimal, so don't expect to get too attached. Still, there's a reason its been going on this long: its good. Not a must read, but one to check out weekly.


Stiptease



A comic about making comics (sort of), hence the name. Its Soap Opera story telling, with about as deep of plot and characters. The arts nice, but the characters border on unlikeable for the most part, with sexism pretty rampant in this one. Take on recent plot line: there's a misunderstanding over whether Max (the main character) had sex with the resident Lady Dragon, Kim. His girlfriend, Alli, meets an old friend (implied to be without Max's knowledge, seemingly for a triste until we find out otherwise), and learns that Max might have had sex with Kim, whom she hates. We learn that yes, they did, but its because Kim was doing for revenge for Max's ex (now a lesbian and a main character). When they confront each other, she comes off as being the bitch, and he as just being frustrated with her. Its a taut comic, the character's shallow, and the plot lines have pulled the "Evil Twin" concept. I shit you not.


Questionable Content

One of my personal favorites, Questionable Content has interesting, and likable characters. One of the longest running comics, its also one of the few that supports its creator. Its pretty damn brilliant, although it has high and low points where the plot line suffers and succeeds, depending on the level of conflict. The art has changed greatly, as the archives chronicle well. Its good, usually a joke a day, and has shown great evolution in writing. I recommend it to anyone looking for a good slice-of-life read.


Multiplex

Damn is this good... One of the comics that has gotten even better over time, while starting with a high standard. I tend to like the more dramatic story lines (which its quite good at), better than the one and done joke strips (also quite good). Its a good read, with good art, but there are times when characters come off as mildly unlikeable. They aren't bad, but there are things they do that have rubbed me the wrong way. Still, check it out, see if you like it.


Penny & Aggie

This is quite possibly one of the best comics on the internet. Seriously. The plot lines are smart, the characters varied, and the art fantastic. Its gotten increasingly better over time, and while the core plot line of the beginning (Aggie v. Penny) has disappeared, it is a comic that should be held to a higher standard than most. The only real complaint I have for it is that the plot lines occasionally come off as pandering to the Forum audience. Other than that, it does things that seem almost outlandish in the common webcomic, such as cohesive plotting, and symbolism. Check it out, damn good read. Again, one of the best.


Ctrl+Alt+Del

This is one of my least favorite Webcomics, I would call it the Family Guy of webcomics, but that might be a little harsh to it. Its still bad, mind you. The characters are unlikeable, and, while not as overtly so as Striptease, its still not exactly flattering to its female characters. It takes the same formula of Penny Arcade, and shits on it with annoying characters, meaningless and stupid plot, and a robot that is directly a take off of both HK-47 and Bender, and is just as annoying as the humans he supports. Ethan, the main character, is a psychotic, while Lucas, the next main character, is merely boring and uninteresting, and the main female character, Lilah, is nothing more than one of them with a vagina, who apparently doesn't know anyone other than the two of them and her male pro gaming partner, while also enabling Ethan's addiction and insanity. Maybe I expect more, but this has a huge readership, so maybe you'll like it. I don't. At all.




That's enough for now. I promise it won't be a month before I post again! Still, if you need a daily dose of me, I have two other blogs. If you disagree or want to recommend anything, e-mail me at hopesoftrying@aol.com, or leave a comment.

Al's Book Review

Al Reviews... Neil Gaiman's American Gods

This book was awesome. Go read it. Even if you can't identify most of the Gods in there (must be hundreds), it doesn't end up mattering that much.

A few complaints- There's so much symbolism and deep forboding-ness in this book that you might get bogged down in the first few chapters. If you don't keep in mind that everything in this book is in there for a reason, you're gonna get confused and frustrated real quick. But trust me, EVERY THING MATTERS. In fact, you're introduced to the three most meaningful characters within the first two chapters- one of which you have no idea is important until you get to the end. So stick with it.

Two, I never really got a good visual of Shadow. MAybe I just personally lack the great imagination, or maybe I somehow glossed over the stunning description of him- but I think there's a reason I can't "see" him in my head to well. You're not supposed to. He's Joe-blow. So think of Joe-blow... except taller. Personally, everytime Shadow did something, I was reminded of the picture of Neil Gaiman on the back cover. So Neil Gaiman was riding a crazy carousel and running playing checkers with gods. but that's just me.

About that carousel. You might think- Wow, that sounds crazy... I just can't believe a place like that exists. Well, I did a little research. I figured it was a real place, but I just didn't think it could live up to Gaiman's description. I thought if I went and found some pictures of it I may be able to make it more real in my brain. Boy was I ever wrong. After looking up the House on the Rock, and the World's Largest Carousel pictures, I was even more amazed than I was by reading it. THERE REALLY ARE MERMEN! It was more surreal looking at the pictures than it could be in the book- and the book was pretty dark and well... surreal. Don't believe me? Check out HouseOnTheRock.com and view their picture gallery. There are even pictures of the Whale in the Walk-way and the Christmas room, and the doll room and the orchestra room etc. etc. etc. It's freaking crazy!

Now, if there's one thing I usually bash a book or movie about, it's the "surprise" ending or the "surprise" plot twist. I can usually spot 'em a mile away. I was tickled pink with this book- I didn't get the big SURPRISE until about a chapter before it was actually revealed (line: "It's a two-man con." That's when I knew). So... There you go. An actual surprise. And I was kickign myself for not seeing it sooner. At all! You'd think... when everyone meets up in the "neutral" place.. you'd think I'd have fingered that damn chauffer a mile away. Nope. Not til the end.


SPOILERS

Complaints from other people:
Some have said they really didn't like the part where Shadow took his Dead Journey while holding Wednesday's vigil and skimmed right through it. Personally- that was my favorite part. So dark and creepy and totally out-of-this-world, literally. I thought the real dragging part was in the middle... all the crap about living in a little bitty town- I was tempted to grumble and flip a couple pages to get back to the good parts- BUT I DIDN'T! And neither should you! BECAUSE IT ALL MATTERS!! THERE'S A REASON JOE-BLOW LIVES IN NOWHEREVILLE! BELIEVE IT.




NO MORE SPOILERS

And we're done now. I'll be reviewing William Goldman's The Princess Bridge, Abridged (The Good Parts) and giving a brief comparative study between it and the cult classic movie anyone who was a child in the 80's absolutely obsessed over. Then hopefully Good Omens.

Oh, and if you're interested, Jim Butcher's newest addition to the Furies of Calderon series came out this week- called Cursor's Fury. It's on hold for me at the Library. Check it out.

And as always, PLEASE email me some suggestions for books to read and review. Really, I'll respond to any emails (I get so bored during finals). So heres' the address again in case you forgot Rosewilsonworth@aol.com.

Do it. Now.

Two Speedies for the Price of One!

Mia Dearden/ Speedy II

Personality: Mia's pretty levelheaded, compared to the rest of the Arrow clan- though she can be a bit cocky- it's part of her charm. She's crass and vulgar- which we always love in a lady, but she does have a tendancy to blow little things out of proportion and while leaving the big things to fester. Example, "I have HIV. It's okay." vs. "I don't want to join the Teen Titans and I'm going to throw a temper tantrum." Temper Tantrums are never attractive, and neither is the festering and rotting. She has a fixation with Connor, but who can blame her honestly? After all, the boy kissed her- twice- and hasn't done anything since. Andrew and I agree that we would both be frustrated with him after that. She's also extremely well adjusted for her history. Her dad raped her, sold her into prositution, she lived with an abusive pimp/boyfriend, did lots of drugs, and finally after getting out of all that- finds out she has H.I.V. and she's really not all that bitter about it. Seems like she should get some major bonus points for that. We her personality a rating of

21 out of 25.

Costume: We love the mesh arrow. Nice cleavage without showing boob. It works. Plus the deep red and dark yellow are a good color combination, we like them. It's a solid and strong color grouping. Then again, we said that for Wally too- so let's not beat the dead horse. We like red and yellow. The short cape always works out well for ladies, but I think we could go either way on the hood. It lends the whole "Robin Hood" feel to Green Arrow's side kick- but... we might be able to do without it. We give her costume a rating of

18 out of 25

Powers: What powers? Does keeping Ollie and Connor from killing each other count as a super power? That being said, her ability to work a shaft is sexy. We could continue with the dirty archery comments until the cows came a-mooing home, but back to the point... Archery = hot. Period. No arguements. Name one un-sexy archer. We dare you. That's right, you wouldn't dare. Even Merlyn the Magician is hot. Let's not get me started on him. She's a decent archer- somewhere in her archery skills between Connor at the low point and Roy at the high point with Ollie above the other two boys. Any debates about Connor's archery skill levels should be directed towards the comments on this page, please. Plus, she can make her own trick arrows. Hot. We give her powers (or lack there of) a rating of

16 out of 25

Day Job/Alter Ego: She's H.I.V. postive. Now, while we all know that safe sex can partially eliminate the threat of "catching" H.I.V., it's not exactly something that makes us all hot and bothered. Don't get us wrong. We still love Mia, and we'd still have crazy awesome sex with her. We'd just wear a condom to do it. She's still in high school... but that's never really much of an issue- and aside from that her day job is to babysit Ollie when Dinah's not around to kick his ass. But she does it with such great attitude, we can't help but admire her. She really does need to get back in the Titans though, otherwise we're hardly ever gonna see her in comics anymore. Judd Winick bashing aside, we give her day job/alter ego a rating of

12 out of 25

Miscellaneous Deductions:
The colors of her costume and her code name really seem to scream more "Flash Sidekick" rather than Green Arrow sidekick. You'd think Green Arrow's sidekick would be more... I dunno... Green? I guess that's what they have Connor for. -2

Final Score: 62 out of 100 We love Mia. Yay Mia. Not a bad score for a sidekick.

Roy Harper/ Speedy / Arsenal / Red Arrow

Personality: It should never be said that Roy doesn't love the ladies. He has great love for the ladies- pretty much ALL the ladies. Maybe too much love. Which resulted in one of the most adorable kids in all of comics, Lian. And everyone knows that good Daddies are hot. It's true. And for as much crap as Lian ends up going through, let it never be said that Roy wouldn't/doesn't go to the ends of the earth for her. She may have been the product of an ill-concieved one night stand (sort of), but he loves that little girl, and that's major points. Back to his past though, He was a heroin addict. Not good. But, on the other hand, he did, eventually, get over it, and hasn't "fallen off the wagon" so to speak. And yeah, we have to mention it because it happened, but Allison for one would really wish people would stop saying "That guy in JLA, wasn't he a junkie?" There's a lot more to the character than just his past drug use. That's like saying "That Wonder Woman, didn't she kill a guy?" It's been twenty odd years. Writers and readers alike need to get over it. When he was younger, he was fairly prone to hero-worship, which put the kid in an awkard situation when his heroes were... well... Ollie and Hal. And luckily, as he's aged, it's muted into a sort of humility when it comes to other heroes that are bigger and better. He may act like he thinks he's more important than Superman, but if Superman says jump, Roy says How High? We give his personality a rating of

17 out of 25

Costume: Which. Freaking. One. The current one could be better. The "red arrow" costume from his miniseries was good. The Arsenal costume with the navajo leaf on it was pretty sexy. The leather jacket was bad, especially with the shaved head. The Blue one from the 80s? What in the world? Why would anyone dress a red-headed irish boy up in blue? That'd almost be as bad as putting him in green! Speaking of Green, we can't ever get away from that first image of little Roy, yellow hat, yellow gloves and boots, with red leggings and a tunic to match his mentor. Sigh, oh the old days. Unfortunately the old days are gone, and for the sake of saving a little time and confusion we're rating his current Red Arrow costume. Allison likes the shoe laces up the chest. Andrew does not. We are glad that the hat has not made a fashionable resurgance though- and thank God he's not wearing blue anymore. Play to your strong suits, Roy. The sentimental value of the new costume is great though- ALMOST to the point of making up for the fact that in 20 years, (If Kingdom Come is to be believed) he's going to look like a red headed Ollie... which was not a flattering look for him. Oh Roy. Whatever shall we do with you? We do miss the soul-patch though. It seemed to make any costume work. Maybe if he brought back the soul patch, we'd be so enamored with it we'd forget how bad the new costume looks.

12 out of 25.

Powers: Once again, Archer = sexy. Whoof. As Stan would say, 'Nuff freakin' said.

16 out of 25

Day Job / Alter Ego: You have to wonder what it says on Roy's Resume.... Current Occupation: Professional Superhero. Previous Occupations: Sidekick. Current Employer: Justice League of America. Previous Employer(s): Oliver Jonas Queen. I would kill for Roy's resume. Besides, how cool is it to be a superhero for a living? No need for a day job, Roy can bring home the bacon without it. Plus, while he's running around superheroing at night- what does he do during the day? Takes care of his baby. What better job could one have, I ask you? We really enjoy Roy's religious persuasions too. Before anyone bashes on Roy as being anti-religious or what not, I recommend you read his miniseries "Arsenal" written by Devin Grayson. She's not a particularly good writer, and I have plenty of crap I could talk about her- but this series was very well done, and digs into his Navajo roots. It's refreshing to see a character who believes in something you don't find every day- especially considering how he's as white as they come. All in all, we're fans of Roy's "day job", and we're giving it a rating of....

22 out of 25

Miscellaneous Deductions:
Too many names for me to type just to get this damn article written. Speedy, Arsenal, Red Arrow- pick one and stick with it for more than three issues, K? -3

speaking of names, Speedy? Speedy? We're blaming Roy for Mia's previous miscellaneous deductions- after all, he started it. But- as the joke goes... "You should have heard his first choice.." and of course there's the infamous "Speedy? I thought they didn't call you that anymore" etc. etc. We exhaust ourselves with these jokes. -5

We know Roy loves the ladies- but how many ladies has the boy TRULY loved? We mean true love. Look at it, he LOVED Donna- she's his childhood sweetheart whom he still feels for to this day. He LOVED Cheshire- still does, she's his baby's mama and he just can't help himself. He LOVES Dinah. It's that whole "You're hot and you came around about the time I was going through puberty and I'm not sure if I should think dirty thoughts about you or pretend your my mom." that he's never going to grow out of. Should he really be DATING at this point instead of just having sex like usual? Also- his choice in women isn't exactly the best. We stand by the thought that out of all the women that Roy has LOVED, Dinah was the only one who could have ever been any good for him- too bad she's in love with his MENTOR. Arguements should be sent to Rosewilsonworth@aol.com :) -4, one for each love.



Final Score: 53 out of 100
Because we love him so much, we had hoped that Roy would score higher, and in fact he'd be tied with Mia if he hadn't gotten all those damn deductions. So... sexy as he may be, gotta watch out for the ridiculously frequent name changes, heart-on-my-sleeve notions of romance and the fact that, simply put- with a name like "Speedy" you've either just lost your virginity, or you need to be a Flash Sidekick.

Al's Book Review

Review for Jim Butcher's Codex Alera

Okay, so... Jim Butcher's a fairly well known author, having put out such books as the Dresden Files ( which is now a fairly decent TV series). But the book's I'm gonna be reviewing are.. well- fairly recent and known as the Codex of Alera, consisting of (so far) three books, Furies of Calderon, Academn's Fury and Cursor's Fury. And, aside from what I'm about to mention below- they are quite good books, and everyone should read them.

1

Right- So. The whole series takes place in a world called Alera, a sort of post-roman.. well... Rome practically. There's mention of the Tiber and Gaul rivers- and everyone's name sounds like you could have plucked them right out of the ancient senate, for the most part. The political structure of this world consists of the First Lord (basically the king) named Gais Sextus, and a bunch of High Lords (a senate of sorts) who spend most of their time seemly either plotting against the First Lord or defending him. Though, there is something special about this world- everyone has a type of "magic" in the form of furies. Furies come in six varieties- earth, metal, air, wood, fire, and water- each with their own special attributes and downfalls. A person who has strong metal furycrafting can be a badass swordsman, and ignore pain to great extents- but they're useless if you can wrap them in wood. Etc. Etc.

1

That's as much of a summary as you're getting for me.

1

Spoilers Ensue. Fair Warning.

1

1

That said- Chekhov's gun makes SEVERAL rather startling appearances. Not startling in the fact that you sit back and go Hey! I remember that thing/person/place from the other book- but startling the way it would be startling if Chekhov jumped on stage during random intervals during the first and second act and began waving said gun around screaming "I'm not saying I'm about to shoot someone but check out this gun!" "Are you looking at the gun?" "Have you noticed the gun yet?" Let's face it, a teenaged boy living out in the boondocks with his aunt and uncle- not totally unbelievable except for the fact that during the entire first and second book we never hear a damn thing about either of his parents. We're not sure if Bernard and Isana are his maternal or paternal aunt and uncle- and the fact that Isana remains unmarried and childless even though she's supposed to be a mature woman in a time when marriage = security. So by the second chapter of the first book- I'd pretty much formulated the opinion that Isana was probably Tavi's unmarried mother, and thus disguised herself as his aunt to avoid any sort of problems that could arise from being an unwed mother. And though this isn't confirmed until the end of the second book and further extrapolated on upon the third- it's as obvious as a slap in the face. It's usually easy for writers to fall into this trap- they don't want to make the idea too vague that no one will pick up on it, but then they make it so obvious I feel like I don't need to read the rest of the book because I know what's going to happen already. Word of advice on Chekhov's gun- after you've written the first PING moment of realization- go back... cut the moment of realization. Leave the PING.

1

Another literary problem; Deus Ex Machina anyone? I swear these books make it seem like God is sitting around with nothing better to do than watch these battles and send in the calvary at EXACTLY the right moment. Of course, the right moment does vary, ever so slightly- but mostly, the RIGHT MOMENT is the exact moment after the heroes small band of soliders beats down the more numerous, more vicious, more well trained army that surrounds them by taking out their leader and the army runs in disarray- but still killing plenty of the little band of heroes. As soon as the little band of heroes have made peace with the end of their existance- out from the sky with a blazing sword swings Michael to kill the rest of the army. AFter all, the little band got the main mission done by themselves (I.E. killing the leader)- so why shouldn't they be saved? Sure, it makes us all happy when the heroes win and live to fight another battle- but does it have to happen EVERY battle? Each one seems to be a matter of Hold The ____. Hold the Garrison until reinforcements arrive. Hold the Cave until reinforcements arrive. Hold the City until Reinforcements arrive. Hold the freakin' Bridge until reinforcements arrive. I'm not sure if it's better or worse because the characters know that reinforcements will arrive. And of course, reinforcements seem to consist of a bunch of lazy, slow moving but powerful soliders who make a two day trip take two weeks... just to piss off the little band of heroes trying to Hold The ___.

1

Having beaten that dead horse well enough, let's move onto to Characterization.

1

Characterization. It happens. For some characters. The rest of them are the same character with different abilities and names. Example, Tavi. Tavi undergoes some GREAT growth throughout the story. Everyone else is pretty much static. Let me extrapolate.

1

The Women: The women are mostly bland and overpraised for their very tiny accomplishments, and the misogynistic undertones (while still undertones) are pretty damn obvious. I'm told that the female characters in the Dresden Files make up for it, but, having never read the Dresden Files myself- I can't vouch for it.

1

You may say, Allison, you wonder of literary wisdom, if this is a post-Romanic medieval type setting, doesn't that in itself make up for the low spot these women have on the totem pole? No. It doesn't. I understand as well as anyone that women aren't going to have the same political power as men in stories set in this time/space, fine. But when you introduce a women by basically saying "She's a badass" and then she isn't a badass... well- that says something. Isana is a particularly good example. She's got the respect of everyone in her Steadholt as early as the first book. She's apparently an amazing watercrafter- but half way through the first book, she's captured. Okay. I can live with that- gotta progress the plot line some way. But then she's kidnapped again in the second and basically incapacitated in the third? I don't buy it. And even in the third, while Isana isn't captured - two other High Ladies are, which requires Lady Aquataine, Odiana and Amara to dress up like sex slaves to get them free. Really? Sex Slaves? .... Okay then- I suppose we needed more scantily clad females. That brings me to another topic- Amara. I tried really hard to like this girl. Really- I did. I wanted to like her because I immediately liked Bernard. But, I don't. She's flat. Butcher tries so hard to make her the best of both worlds (the upper class political world and the boondock world of the Steadholders and everyone else) that she has absolutely no true personality. She doesn't have any enemies or dislikes of her own, just picks up on the enemies of the people she's loyal to (Gaius, specifically). The only truly intersting female characters are either the "bad" guys or bat-shit crazy. Lady Aquataine and Odiana spark to mind. Personally, I love love love Odiana. She's creepy-crazy. And Lady Aquataine... while not as fun as Odiana, she's certainly got more character than Amara. So I find myself rooting for the bad guys- who I KNOW (because of Chekhov screaming and waving his gun, and from Michael lighting up his sword) are not going to win.

1

The Men: The Men are easier. We've pretty much three kinds of men as far as the Alerans go. You've got the good guys- who are all the same character. Bad Guy Group 1 and Bad Guy Group 2.

1

Good Guys: Good guys are just that. Good Guys. They're all badass fighters, passionate lovers, and take everything personally. Think of the epitome of a man. Mix in what your girlfriend would think is the epitome of a man. There. Every Good Guy in these books. Let's list 'em- for the hell of it: Bernard, Gaius, Septimus, Araris Valerian, Max, Sir Miles, Giraldi, and even Tavi to some extent. Humble badasses who love their woman (or women in some cases) whole-heartedly, believe in an honest days work and hold extreme loyalty to some other man. "Legionaires to the core" so to speak. Plus, their tragic flaw is the same as well! They all take the weight of some extreme guilt for something they had no control over. Think about it- Bernard feels guilty that everyone dies. Araris feels guilty that everyone dies. Miles feels guilty that everyone dies, Tavi feels guilty that everyone dies. Gaius feels guilty that everyone dies and then blames him. It's like being trapped in room with someone's jewish grandmother.

1

Bad Guy Group 1: Bad Guy Group one. I like them. Actually- despite what I've said, I like all the men, cept for Bad Guy Group 2. Hey- they're the epitome of man. It's sexy, if not plausible. In any case, Bad Guy Group 1. They're the same as the Good Guys, except with a different loyalty. They actually differ from one another quite a bit. You've got Aldrick ex Gladius, Lord Aquataine, and Fidelias for starters. They appreciate an honest day's work as well... as long as they're getting something good in return. Also sexy in that epitome of maleness sort of way, and these guys don't usually wave around their sympathetic sides. While they seem to feel at least affectionate towards their main women- perhaps even love them, they're not bug-eyed just because the girl is giving them some attention. I really don't have much crap to talk about these guys. I like them. Especially Aldrick. Whoof.

1

Bad Guy Group 2: These guys are just bad. (I.E. Steadholder Kord and High Lord Kalarus and Kalarus son Brencis) And we're back to them sharing alot of "qualities". They're obsessed with monetary and power gain, to the extent of leaving their people to rot in their own filth while they boost up their own homes. They're both obsessed with slaves, and especially with female slaves that they can... *ahem* use. Now, you could say- but Allison, you stud you, isnt that what bad guys do? Sure they do! And why not? I'll buy it. But by the same token... Do we really need so many of them? Wouldn't one who just doesn't die have sufficed just as well as three or more of these guys? Yeah- they're the ones we love to hate, their innately bad, truly evil. But geeze, I'm getting so much hate I think it's going to backlash and make me hate the good guys- like... persey, Amara. Heh.

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But, all in all- I did actually enjoy the books, most of the time. I felt the surprises were predictable, the characters (though sexy) were mostly static and I was never once surprised when the angels descended to save the little hero band. But, I loved the Marat, Kitai and Doroga especially though Hashat was awesome as well. Kitai was a bit predictable as well- but not to the extent that I felt I was getitng slapped with her prescense. Loved what happens between she and Tavi in general. when you read the books you'll know what I mean. THAT I was surprised by. The Cane are pretty nifty as well.. not really many bad things to say about those guys either. So basically, I've only got problems with the Alerans.

1

Go, seek, enjoy these books. Tell me if I'm totally off-target here. And for god's sake, someone give me something else to read and review!

Atheism in Comcs: An Introduction at best

Atheism in Comics: When Mr. Terrific can be famous

This is purely an introduction to a bit of atheism, and its not something I have enough to go on in comics to really sit down with, unfortunately.

Atheism in comics is an interesting thing. Now, I’m an atheist myself, and I’m quite open about it (and though I see religion as largely irrational, I do see its merits, hence these articles), so despite my attempts at impartiality in comics, there may be some flitters of my bias within.

Of the many possible questions, one primary thing that Atheism in comic books forces is the question of why these characters are moral. Now, when you’re an atheist, the only thing you truly are is without god. Depending on your definition, Atheism can be dogmatic (Communism), or without dogma (humanism, nihilism). I’m going to go into humanism primarily, because it is the philosophy that demands the most respect for humanity, and wish to help them. Thus, it is the most heroic.

I’ll start with Humanism and Mr. Terrific. While I’ll admit that my awareness of the character is limited, I have found him to be an intriguing character thus far in what I know of him. The impression I get of his atheism, and why he commits acts of heroism is because he feels that humans must help one another, because there is no god to do so for them, and that this is only fair play to those who he tries to save. This is a positive thing. He has morality without god. The basis of humanism is to develop personal ethics based upon respect and compassion for the rest of humanity. Mr. Terrific basis himself around fair play; something he does not see possible from this god being. I’ll write another article on him, though, to go further into his beliefs.

Nihilism is the popular standpoint of villains without explicitly stated religions, by my summation. That’s not to say it is every villain, but it is many of them. Plenty do have explicitly stated religions, or at least dogmatic moral codes (Deathstroke), which keeps them from Nihilism. Many are also non-religious; evading the question. Neither stances are probably conscious. Rather, these philosophies are de-facto, since many probably don’t think of the consequences of their actions pertaining to a god-head, or simply deny a god-head for the convenience of their crimes not having any bearing, since they obviously wouldn’t be humanists for lack of respect for their fellow humans.

This is something that’s hard to blog on, though, since Atheism is uncommon in comics, outside of Communism, which I hesitate to add to this blog, since it is a dogmatic belief system, and more of a cult of personality. The word Cult helps distinguish it from being atheist, since not being a religion keeps you from being a cult, for our purposes at least.

Atheism is rare in comics, and it’s understandable. For the most part, writing someone as an atheist in a world of magic and some very explicit religious figures (the Spectre, Wonder Woman, Thor, etc.), it seems almost ignorant of the world around them. I can easily see that argument in comics, but I would be one to raise you “show me this divine makers order in all of that, then”. The best argument for atheism in comics is, ironically, the retcons and crises of the creators, since most religions promulgate some divine order. Would you honestly believe in god if you were able to go and meet Zeus, Odin, the Spectre, Vishnu, Buddha, the Phantom Stranger, Jonah Hex, the Monitor, and other such beings? Without order, or better editorial, it becomes a fallacy; and apparently a bad quip.

I’m editorializing now, and I acknowledge that, so I’ll end here before I get on a soap box about atheism and religion. I’m trying to keep these articles as secular as I can, so again, its best I end before this becomes more of a typical Arrogant Atheist blog where I talk about irrational things, like George Bush… STOP ME ALLI!

Next time: Agnosticism: Doubting god when you deal with so much evil. And eventually! Raven: Demonolatry and the influence of evil. Which will bleed into Billy Batson and the Child as a Lump of Clay!

Hey Reader

Hey all one of you, I just wanted everyone to know that I'm starting a second blog (it won't supercede my duties to this one, just co-exist with it), at http://lackasilverliningism.blogspot.com/ for anyone interested. Its a personal blog about my thoughts on daily life, politics, religion and anything else I can think of. You'll find all sorts of things on there, including an archive of the blogs about Super Religion.

Lex Luthor: In the Name of God, I am Become God

Lex Luthor is a fascinating character. He's not really immoral, as much as he is amoral. A nihilist, he doesn't care about hurting others, as much as he rejects anyone with whom he jockeys for the position of the Greatest, of a near Ubermensch, although Luthor lacks this truly in his amorality. He is a man who seeks himself to be greater than those who are his contemporaries. None can be smarter than him. None can do more good.

"But Andrew!" you say, "Lex Luthor does nothing but evil!" This isn't true. He isn't evil, in that he does not do things in a malicious manner. He needs to be the antitheses, and he is amoral. I cannot stress the term amoral enough. He does not do what he does with conscious knowledge of it being wrong, because he does not believe in morality; again, he’s a Nihilist. Lex believes everything he does will truly save human-kind, and without Superman, can we truly say that Luthor could not have been humanities savior? With his vast intellect and ability, without the competition, with the admiration of those around him, could Luthor not have done the truest good possible? I submit for your consideration an Elseworld, the story of Superman: Red Son. In it, Luthor does things which advance his vision of what is good, using his intellect and ability to take down a man he sees as a dictator, and rightfully so. Lex Luthor does, though, in the end do good. And not just "good", but good. He's able to solve the world’s problems in it by virtue of being brilliant.

That being said, he does have a great personal need to have someone who he is opposed to. Luthor needs to be a hero, if only in his mind. He needs to watch someone wriggle and writhe in his devices. During 52, he went to great lengths to discredit both John Henry Irons and Supernova (Booster Gold). He wants to be the greatest. He needs to be the greatest, or everyone else will suffer for it. He has an obvious psychotic issue, in that respect. It is not a severe one, I would argue. He suffers from hyper-capitalism, pretty much.

Also, I would argue that, sue to his electability for President, he’s publicly a Christian. It makes him seem more normal, even though he’s a nihilistic business man.

Luthor could also be argued as worshipping Superman, as his God upon whom he must commit deicide in order to usurp him. That would bring up a much larger issue for his psychology though, and as I said, I do not believe him to be terribly insane. He’s not the Joker, and no matter how waning his sanity may be, he carries himself better than any psyche patient I’ve ever met (and yes, I’ve met a number). I don’t agree with this, based upon the fact I believe him to be a Nihilist, which would mean he is a type of Atheist (yes, there are multiple types of atheists).

One thing that I do wonder about, in my studies of Nihilism, as well as looking at Luthor as the single smartest man in the DCU, is how he confronts the Nihilist paradox. For those not familiar, the Nihilst belief is that “Truth does not exist”, and for that statement to be true, it would have to be false if you follow its own logic. Luthor, I think, would question the nature of truth, and ultimately come to a notion of scientific truth, lending to his atheism. This does provide an argument against his nihilism, especially since, as I‘ve highlighted, he does believe his attempts at murdering Superman as good and just.

Another facet of Luthor’s religion, though, is his attempts at building around his business a near dogmatic cult of personality. That is akin to communism, which he would not appreciate, I assure you. He does love himself, probably too much, and tries to make everyone else love him, and adore him as the greatest thing ever. He would argue that Superman has a cult of personality, since the Man of Steel is worshipped rather unconditionally, other than Luthor and the rest of his rogues gallery. That might appear as a later blog, though, so I won’t get too far into the Cult of Personality in comics. There are plenty of them, I assure you.

The greatest argument for Luthor's evil, though, comes from his willingness to sacrifice a savior, for what he considers the best possible solution. This I can argue quite easily: He sees what he's doing as Good, because he wants humanity to save itself. Superman is evil because he is an alien. Not because of the good he does which inhibits Luthor's nefarious deeds, or because he made his enemy bald. Luthor sees Superman as evil because he is an alien holding himself as a savior for a species which, Luthor would probably argue, does not need its saving. Luthor believes Humanity can, and more than anything else should save itself. I would find it to be an interesting question of whether Luthor would hate Batman without Superman, or even Green Lantern, since he is only a human wielding a weapon. Truly, neither are beyond Humanity, so would Luthor be against them? That's a subject for another blog, though.

I'll leave you here, with thing to think about and comment on, but expect more on the Philosophy and Ethics of Luthor another time. I'm not certain which issue I'll tackle next. I'm thinking the religion of the Arrow family, but maybe I'll work on that blog about the New Gods. I'm not certain yet. Wait and see,true believers. Or non-believers as you may be like me.

Peace, Justice, and the Jewish Superhero: The concepts of Judaism

So here we are, the second in my continuing look at the religiosity of heroism, and morality of heroes. Today’s article will, obviously, focus upon Judaism. To represent Judaism I’m choosing four characters: The Ragman of the Shadowpact, his adversary the Golem, the Thing of the Fantastic Four, and the Spectre entity. Each will illuminate different things about Judaism, Jewish Mythology, Judaism in society, and the Jewish Lord. (Out of respect for Jewish practice, I shall not use the name of G-d, other than the title, let’s see if I succeed!).

Ragman, Rory Regan, is one of the most overt Jewish characters since his revitalization in the ‘90s Vertigo revamp of the character. His powers, which were once limited to three corrupt souls who tried to rob his shop, were vastly expanded, and made into a kind of Sheol, the Judaic hell. He absorbs souls and gives them a path to redemption, thereby not killing them so that they may have a better afterlife. It is a resting place, not Gehenna, the Judaic hell, nor is it Heaven. Interestingly enough, in Gehenna, you are only condemned for at most a year’s time, while in Ragman’s suit you are condemned for as long as it takes your sins to absolve. Ragman holds his faith dear, and seems to be at least convicted in it, as evidence by Infinite Crisis and his noteworthy conversation with Mr. Terrific. I would personally find spiritual interaction between he and the equally faithful Blue Devil, a Catholic, interesting due to their deep ties to their religions, but that’s just me.

Also, Ragman’s 1991 miniseries is noteworthy for its emphasis on community, a common theme in Jewish mythology and Biblically. Judaism is a religion based more upon works then upon a personal relationship with its Lord, unlike Christianity. In the story, Ragman’s flight from Batman, who would not approve of his actions for depriving people of life on this plane, causes the Jewish ghetto in Gotham to protect Ragman from Batman. An interesting twist, I think.

The Golem is another Jewish themed character. For a time it was Ragman’s villain, his only way to defeat it being to wipe the Hebrew for “Truth” from it. This is inaccurate, because the Jewish word for “Truth” is “Emet”, and by erasing the part of it to make “Met”, the Hebrew word for Death, it is deactivated. There have been a number of Golems throughout comicdom, including Monolith, and the Thing. I bring all of this up, though, to highlight Judaism expansive, yet oft forgotten mythology. In the Talmud, Adam is first considered a Golem, until later becoming fully human. This is all part of a concept known as “Midrash”, or completion of things. It is where we get Lilith, the castes of Angels, Leviathan, Behemoth and many other Judaic creatures from; this is all more so a side note, something to help you better understand Judaism, the religion’s beliefs, and concepts. Midrash was done because of the tendency of the Biblical writers to bring up characters, names, and concepts and then drops them completely after a single mention.

The Thing is a Golem, he’s a large being of rock, though he lacks a name of the Lord, or Emet, as previously mentioned. He is an interesting character when you take him out of the comic, because like so many Jewish people in the time he was created, including his creators, and many comic creators, was not known to be Jewish. The Thing is an example of a Jewish character whose Judaism is more of a footnote, informs the character, and does not change them. He is a prominent Jewish character, like Kitty Pride, yet it’s not something that comes up terribly often, nor does it seem to affect him too much. The Thing is based on Jack Kirby, who saw him as an alter-ego of sorts, but this was not known until 2002, saying something about the view of Judaism in society.

Now, though, we’ll look at a more interesting concept in comics: The Spectre. He’s not a Jewish character, per say, but even though it is arguable his past three anchors (Jim Corrigan, Hal Jordan, and Crispus Allen) were not Jewish, and probably Christian (okay, Hal’s debatable, but that’s another article), this section of the article is about the Spectre entity. The Spectre is not a compassionate being, and is an important being in DC comics. John Ostrander, a man who had been in seminary to become a Catholic priest (but left), revealed him to be a fallen angel named Aztar, who repented and became this being. He was the slayer of the first born of Egypt, and succeeded Eclipso.

The question is, though, why am I considering him Jewish? This is because we know of the Jewish Lord to be a more vengeful one then Christ. That may sound negative, but the whole concept of Christ’s death was to say that things like the death of all of the first born would not happen again until time’s end, which is pounded in by the Midrash of Christianity. Also I take into account the creator of the character, Jerry Siegel, a Jew himself. I’ll probably have another article on the Spectre itself, as well as its hosts.

That’s all I’ve got on this one. As always, if you think I missed anything, just tell me, and I’ll work on a follow up article. The next one I’m working on is about Lex Luthor’s concept of Religion and God. Here’s a hint: Nietzche will be in it. As well as Nihilism.

Andrew (and Alli)'s top 5: Deaths

In honor of the Death of the New Gods, we bring you the top 5 deaths. Of course, if we wait until Wednesday, we'll probably have another death we can honor.

Okay, here's how this is gonna work people, we're gonna do the top five "Serious" deaths, and then the top five "Not So Serious" deaths.


5. Jason Todd



Jason's death was an emotional action, effecting Batman in a disturbing and profound manner. It also was one of the most disturbing turns for the Joker, brutally beating his victim mercilously. It was an important death for the DCU, and changed story telling extremely. It also meant something since fans of the book got to choose whether to kill or save Batman's second sidekick. The Robin is now alive, though. More on that later.


4. Captain Boomerang and Jack Drake



Out of the deaths in Identity Crisis, this one effect us more. Not that Sue Dibny's didn't mean something, but recently in Justice League of America, Dinah mentioned that death to Dr. Light two years after the fact in continuity. This death, meanwhile, shaped Owen Mercer to become the heir to his father's legacy, and sent Tim Drake down a dangerous slope closer to becoming Batman, which is a more disturbing notion then we can put into words.


3. Barry "The Flash" Allen



This could have gotten higher, were it not for the DiDio "is he staying dead?" teases in Countdown previews. No character's death impacted the whole multiverse more for longer. It was truly something.


2. Alex DeWitt



The death that launched Women in Refridgerators. This death made the list not for its emotional impact, or universe spanning meaning, but because of that cultural impact. Gail Simone, one of our favorite writers, used this as a launching pad for a feminist perspective, and for a successful carreer so far. Also, she was stuffed in a fridge: that's disturbing.


1. Ted "Blue Beetle" Kord



Ted's death is the most recent on our list, and one that lifted a lesser known character to a major player, only to put a bullet through his head. We're not bitching about this death as many do, Beetle does mean more dead then he did alive, honestly, but he also works as good segway with the following panel.






Honorable mentions: Captain America (C'mon, no one believes he's dead, this was his 11th). Batman (He's died almost as many times as Captain America). Ra's Al Ghul (Lazarus Pit FTW!). Booster Gold (His death had some people goin... Not Alli though, and she'll be the first to tell you that). Supergirl (would've meant more were it not for Powergirl, she's better, bigger... brains). Donna Troy ("I'm not quite dead yet"). Big Barda (She was killed in her kitchen, off-panel. That's stupid)



5. Oliver "Green Arrow" Queen



He chose to die so that Superman wouldn't save him. Only an insane blonde archer would choose to die for his arm. He went in a blaze of glory, Bon Jovi Style, but he died for his arm. He also died again by having his jugular stabbed by Black Canary, even though we all knew he wasn't dead. That was a shitty death. Shitty shitty death.



4. Alex "Fridgegirl" DeWitt



She got stuffed into a fridge to make Kyle Rayner more sympathetic. Need we say more? You can't force more sympathy for Kyle, unless you kill his dog too.



3. Jason "I'm Crazier then Batman now" Todd




His death meant something before Judd Winick. Now he's just a joke. Note that the prior three deaths were touched by Judd Winick to some extent.


2. Ch'p



So much as we love the space squirrel, he was killed by a yellow truck. Can you honestly think of a better death for a space squirrel? Alli dare's you. Because she "knows you wouldn't dare!"


1. Pariah



The character who's power was to die, dies. That's pretty damn funny. Thank you Alex Luthor.




So that's our top 5 deaths. Serious and not.

Vixen and Wally

It's that time again. I know you're all SUPER excited.. as I can see from the multitude of comments. But here we are. And tonight's lucky winners are Vixen and Wally West. Go them. Hopefully they fair a little better than Wonder Woman and Dr. Magnus.

Vixen / Mari McCabe

Personality: She's a little stand-off ish. Maybe it's from taking the form of a Lone Wolf one too many times. But she gets the job done. Again, Lone Wolf-ish. She can be pretty wild, feral even. Rawr. Unpredictability doesn't necessarily bode well for a superhero. After all, in Green Lantern- Hal Jordan knew she was there because she was growling. There's no need for that. Really Vixen, Hal might not be the nicest... or sanest guy on the block- but he is technically on your team. That said, she's also for animal rights (why the hell not?). Bonus. And she's a friend of Animal Man. Always a bonus. Still though, she has the whole high-maintainance vibe about her. Probably from working as a model. At least she's not an Amazonian Princess. We give Vixen's personality a

17 out of 25

Costume: Damn. Daaayyummn. Emphasis on yum. It seems to flow well with her powers, and matches up with her attitude towards being a superhero. Plus- Female superhero in pants? Big bonus points for lack of panty-shots. It also hearkens back to her African roots, since she is actually FROM Africa. Nice emphasis on the totem. Wish it wasn't exactly Black Cat low cut though. I think they share the same tailor. We give Mari's costume a rating of

22 out of 25

Powers: If she still had any powers, they would be freaky. There's something to be said about being an animal in bed (Woof.) but think about the extremes there! That one night stand could end badly. And now, with her current change-o-powers... it might be worse. Think about it. It's like having sex with a Supergirl who doesn't know her own strength. And could end up taking someone else's powers at any moment. Maybe she should have a lesbian relationship with Rogue. Then they could both finally get some. We give Vixen's powers a rating of

17 out of 25

Day Job/ Alter Ego: Four words. She's. A. Super. Model. SOLD! 24 out of 25

Miscellaneous Deductions:

She needs the totem to focus her powers. If it was OUR JLA, we'd opt for Buddy. After all, it takes a lot more effort to take his powers away. Then again, we could just expose him to the Rogue/Vixen relationship and BOOM, helpless Animal Man. -3

J.L.A. Detroit- Need we say more? -5

She had a "Moment" with Geoforce. Geoforce. Go have a moment with Batman and you'll get less points taken off for this! -3

Final Score: 69 out of 100.

She beat Wonder Woman! Just barely. But still. If it wasn't for that damn J.L.A. Detroit.... Damn you, Aquaman and Martian Manhunter! Damn you! And Geoforce too. Damn him while you're at it as well.

The Flash / Wally West

Personality: Where as Andrew believes that Wally is a sort of middle ground between Nightwing and Arsenal, and therefore not as interesting, I disagree. We do agree that Wally isn't necessarily the brightest crayon in the box. He's no Dr. Magnus, that's for sure. But, he is a good husband, and a good father. And the most wonderful thing about his personailty is the reason why he took up the superhero life style to begin with. He does the right thing, because it's the right thing. Not because his parents were killed in a random shoot-out- simply because it's the right way to use his powers to do good. Major points for that. We give his personality a rating of

19 out of 25

Costume: Wally's costume is awesome. Not original. But that's part of what makes it great- it's a great legacy symbol. And of course- look at the colors. I dare you to think of better colors to convey speed. You wouldn't dare. Of course, Wally has made a few little mistakes in the costume department. Kid Flash costume. Not great- and Shiny Flash? Well, he must have gotten the idea from Minty-Fresh Superman. We give Wally's costume a rating of

24 out of 25

Powers: What can't you do with superspeed? Honestly, what villian can you NOT beat with Superspeed? But besides that- how sexy is superspeed? Well, You've got the obvious. Andrew doesn't understand who would want to have sex with someone who can vibrate. I tend to disagree.... GREATLY. I think the true question is what woman wouldn't want to have sex wtih a man who can vibrate? Talk about Boy-Toy. But then there's the extreme... and if anyone has been reading Welcome to Tranquility, let me just draw attention to the fact that Superspeed Sex could be quite painful, if not managed properly. Very Painful. We give Wally's Powers a rating of

20 out of 25

Day Job / Alter Ego: Grease Monkeys are sexy. Though I do some how always imagine his relationship with Linda to be something like the relationship between Carrie and Doug from King of Queens. After all, she's hot with a high paying job. And while she's not necessarily out of his league- I'm glad it doesn't bother him that she's most DEFINATELY the breadwinner. We give Wally's day job a rating of

18 out of 25

Miscellaneous Deductions:

Married with Kids. Affairs are not cool. Even though good daddies are hot. We always want what we can't have. Too Bad. Linda is one lucky fictional character. -2

Everything that happened with Inertia. While it's not quite killing someone, it certainly is a form of torture. Obviously, we thought Wally was better than that. -7

A hero is only as good at his villians. And check out those Awesome Rogues, and ZOOM! +1

Recall early Teen Titans, with Raven's first appearance. Yeah, she manipulated his head and made him think he was in love with her- which makes it her fault- but at the same time, after all that got sorted out... he was kind of a bastard to her. Yeah, yeah yeah, she probably deserved it- but doesn't every body make mistakes? You'd think Barry's side kick could find a little bit of forgiveness in his speedster heart. -3

Final Score : 70 out of 100

Wow! Wally Wins! Today beats last week! ..... Okay, so perhaps we were a bit harsh last week- especially on Wonder Woman- but she's a tough Amazon Warrior Princess, she can take it. Speaking of taking it. Rogue and Vixen. Now there's a couple you don't see everyday.