Sunday, October 21, 2007

Vixen and Wally

It's that time again. I know you're all SUPER excited.. as I can see from the multitude of comments. But here we are. And tonight's lucky winners are Vixen and Wally West. Go them. Hopefully they fair a little better than Wonder Woman and Dr. Magnus.


Vixen / Mari McCabe




Personality: She's a little stand-off ish. Maybe it's from taking the form of a Lone Wolf one too many times. But she gets the job done. Again, Lone Wolf-ish. She can be pretty wild, feral even. Rawr. Unpredictability doesn't necessarily bode well for a superhero. After all, in Green Lantern- Hal Jordan knew she was there because she was growling. There's no need for that. Really Vixen, Hal might not be the nicest... or sanest guy on the block- but he is technically on your team. That said, she's also for animal rights (why the hell not?). Bonus. And she's a friend of Animal Man. Always a bonus. Still though, she has the whole high-maintainance vibe about her. Probably from working as a model. At least she's not an Amazonian Princess. We give Vixen's personality a

17 out of 25


Costume: Damn. Daaayyummn. Emphasis on yum. It seems to flow well with her powers, and matches up with her attitude towards being a superhero. Plus- Female superhero in pants? Big bonus points for lack of panty-shots. It also hearkens back to her African roots, since she is actually FROM Africa. Nice emphasis on the totem. Wish it wasn't exactly Black Cat low cut though. I think they share the same tailor. We give Mari's costume a rating of







22 out of 25





Powers: If she still had any powers, they would be freaky. There's something to be said about being an animal in bed (Woof.) but think about the extremes there! That one night stand could end badly. And now, with her current change-o-powers... it might be worse. Think about it. It's like having sex with a Supergirl who doesn't know her own strength. And could end up taking someone else's powers at any moment. Maybe she should have a lesbian relationship with Rogue. Then they could both finally get some. We give Vixen's powers a rating of

17 out of 25

Day Job/ Alter Ego: Four words. She's. A. Super. Model. SOLD! 24 out of 25


Miscellaneous Deductions:

She needs the totem to focus her powers. If it was OUR JLA, we'd opt for Buddy. After all, it takes a lot more effort to take his powers away. Then again, we could just expose him to the Rogue/Vixen relationship and BOOM, helpless Animal Man. -3

J.L.A. Detroit- Need we say more? -5

She had a "Moment" with Geoforce. Geoforce. Go have a moment with Batman and you'll get less points taken off for this! -3

Final Score: 69 out of 100.

She beat Wonder Woman! Just barely. But still. If it wasn't for that damn J.L.A. Detroit.... Damn you, Aquaman and Martian Manhunter! Damn you! And Geoforce too. Damn him while you're at it as well.





The Flash / Wally West






Personality: Where as Andrew believes that Wally is a sort of middle ground between Nightwing and Arsenal, and therefore not as interesting, I disagree. We do agree that Wally isn't necessarily the brightest crayon in the box. He's no Dr. Magnus, that's for sure. But, he is a good husband, and a good father. And the most wonderful thing about his personailty is the reason why he took up the superhero life style to begin with. He does the right thing, because it's the right thing. Not because his parents were killed in a random shoot-out- simply because it's the right way to use his powers to do good. Major points for that. We give his personality a rating of


19 out of 25


Costume: Wally's costume is awesome. Not original. But that's part of what makes it great- it's a great legacy symbol. And of course- look at the colors. I dare you to think of better colors to convey speed. You wouldn't dare. Of course, Wally has made a few little mistakes in the costume department. Kid Flash costume. Not great- and Shiny Flash? Well, he must have gotten the idea from Minty-Fresh Superman. We give Wally's costume a rating of


24 out of 25


Powers: What can't you do with superspeed? Honestly, what villian can you NOT beat with Superspeed? But besides that- how sexy is superspeed? Well, You've got the obvious. Andrew doesn't understand who would want to have sex with someone who can vibrate. I tend to disagree.... GREATLY. I think the true question is what woman wouldn't want to have sex wtih a man who can vibrate? Talk about Boy-Toy. But then there's the extreme... and if anyone has been reading Welcome to Tranquility, let me just draw attention to the fact that Superspeed Sex could be quite painful, if not managed properly. Very Painful. We give Wally's Powers a rating of


20 out of 25



Day Job / Alter Ego: Grease Monkeys are sexy. Though I do some how always imagine his relationship with Linda to be something like the relationship between Carrie and Doug from King of Queens. After all, she's hot with a high paying job. And while she's not necessarily out of his league- I'm glad it doesn't bother him that she's most DEFINATELY the breadwinner. We give Wally's day job a rating of






18 out of 25



Miscellaneous Deductions:


Married with Kids. Affairs are not cool. Even though good daddies are hot. We always want what we can't have. Too Bad. Linda is one lucky fictional character. -2


Everything that happened with Inertia. While it's not quite killing someone, it certainly is a form of torture. Obviously, we thought Wally was better than that. -7




A hero is only as good at his villians. And check out those Awesome Rogues, and ZOOM! +1



Recall early Teen Titans, with Raven's first appearance. Yeah, she manipulated his head and made him think he was in love with her- which makes it her fault- but at the same time, after all that got sorted out... he was kind of a bastard to her. Yeah, yeah yeah, she probably deserved it- but doesn't every body make mistakes? You'd think Barry's side kick could find a little bit of forgiveness in his speedster heart. -3




Final Score : 70 out of 100




Wow! Wally Wins! Today beats last week! ..... Okay, so perhaps we were a bit harsh last week- especially on Wonder Woman- but she's a tough Amazon Warrior Princess, she can take it. Speaking of taking it. Rogue and Vixen. Now there's a couple you don't see everyday.








No comments: